The Review Policy
1. I don’t do reviews on request because I’m too lazy.
2. I might change my mind if you ask me nicely (ie bribe me with pron).
3. Highly unlikely, though.
4. Still, if I did review your book, don’t expect me to be nice about it because I’m not.
5. Which you would have known had you actually read some of the crap on my blog.
6. In addition to being aware of the whole #1 thing.
7. Also, my so-called reviews basically consist of 4-5 paragraphs and I don’t rate.
8. Here. I don’t rate here because I don’t like ratings. However, I do rate at goodreads.
9. The only thing I’m consistent with is my bad attitude and my ratings. I am the fucking bell curve, despite being referred to as a ‘hard’ rater.
10. This makes me right, btw.
11. Oh, and I don’t always explain my dis/likes thoroughly so best to fuck off now if you expect that.
12. And I do occasionally have a fangurl moment, especially when it comes to Sir Terry; the stuff of epics against whom all other authors are judged
13. Scared?? You should be.
14. Mostly because if you send me hate mail or diss me in any way – and I’ll find out – trust me on this – my gossip network is full of teh awesome – I’ll bitch about you, not only behind your back; that’s a given, but where other readers can see for themselves your feet of clay.
15. If I reviewed, that is.