maybe it’s me, but…



… let me ask you this…

Have you ever noticed how the numbers of urban fantasy and paranormal books have increased dramatically in recent years?

Have you ever realised that in quite a few of those books the paranormals either (a) are just about to announce their existence to humans or (b) have already made the big reveal and are living side-by-side with us in the world?

Have you ever wondered about the so-called “New Age” interpretations that 2012 is not actually a prediction about Armageddon, but is foreshadowing a massive transformation of the Earth and its inhabitants?

Have you ever considered that the leaders of the “New Age” are supposedly more in touch with their spiritual, paranormal even, sides than regular folk?

Have you ever thought about the fact that a lot of the authors of these genre books were born or grew up in the 1960s and 1970s when the “New Age” movement began?

Well? WELL?!

You laugh now, but it won’t be so funny when they turn up and you’re all #kickarsefail.
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About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
This entry was posted in 2012, extra further randomness, maybe it's me but, me, paranormal, urban fantasy. Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to maybe it’s me, but…

  1. Ingrid says:

    Nope.

    The orange hair looks good on you. Quite a change from the pink.

    I just read the we have interpreted the mayan calender wrong and 2012 should be somewhere in 2100's.
    And I will be looooong gone by then.

  2. sasipark says:

    OOOOOO…… I am about to read Soulless by Gail Carriger. Does that mean I'm psycho… I mean psychic.
    I know I am part vampire πŸ™‚ No really I am… okay okay I'm a vampire without the blood part…. I just suck the soul out of ya. Just ask me mam πŸ™‚

  3. sasipark says:

    Jeezzzz I hate computers…. why am I now listed as sasipark?

    tish

  4. Kris says:

    Ingrid: What the hell kind of answer is nope?!

    I will liaise with my co-conspiracist, the Bearded Baby Brother, on the matter of 2012 and get back to you.

    BTW, thanks for the compliment on the hair. I was afraid that it would make me look odd.

    Tish: Thank God you signed your name cos I was all 'who the hell is this person. O_O Maybe the new person is a front to the paranormals who are trying to hide the fact that I'm right.' Needless to say, I was beginning to panic.

    Soulless is yet another example of a paranormals-living-among-us story. I'm telling ya. It's all preparation for the Big Reveal!

  5. Oh to think that 2012 will come and some hunk with 8 pack abs, arms that look like bulging hams and wearing leather and a 10 inch cock will come along and find me, and help me understand through hot sex that I am the key to salvation or stopping the gates of hell from opening!

    We will have hot demon/angel/vampire/alien sex and through my magic hoo haa I will save the world.

    You can all thank me now.

    Rock on Beeker!

  6. Kris says:

    Katiebabs chook: Not to be dissing the magic of your hoo ha or anything (cos I'm totally up with that), but didn't someone warn you recently that packed abs can cause hurt whilst pounding??

    Also, if you get to be the key to salvation does that mean I get to be the guardians to one of the sacred objects that will help you in you quest? And that I will only discover my heritage when 2012 hits and I get visions and a magical tattoo plus a demon/angel/vampire/alien of my own who ends up being the long lost friend/brother/past enemy of your demon/angel/vampire/alien?

    Cos, you know, I would be totally up with that too.

  7. Okay 10 inch cock demon man can have a itty bitty gut but still look good in leather.

    Since my life must have a sequel, you'll be the star in it! Remember, my 10 inch cock man always has 8 other 10 inch cock men around looking for the next key or woman who has visions that can save their soul.

    And you can be the woman who's pink or orange hair has the secrets to the universe.

  8. Kris says:

    Awesome. I'd hoped that I would get my own book cos of the guardian helping on a quest and soul saving my mate thing.

    My only problem is the hair colour deal cos I change mine so often. Maybe I have a tattoo that grows and changes with every new vision/feat/etc accomplished.

    Of course, my demon/angel/vampire/alien will totally get off on the tatts and will spend hours licking/kissing/sucking them.

  9. Kassa says:

    I've been a HUGE urban fantasy fan since forever. It's my preferred genre no matter what the pairing. However in the past 5 years or so, I've gotten completely and totally sick of the kick ass girl who refuses to accept the guy yet ultimately is saved by him cliche. Whether this plays out in one book or 10 of the series, it's the exact same theme with only changes in details.

    I'm fed up with the whole “kick ass” chick bullshit just as much as I was fed up with the whole “helpless” chick rebellion that went on in m/f romance. Of course now all the chicks are tough, plucky, and witty.

    I pray that urban fantasy goes back to more interesting and involved storylines than simply re-doing the same crap. 😦

  10. tish says:

    you know tattoos hurt more the older you get, magical or not.

    Katiebabs can keep her salvation 10″ to herself… it ain't pretty! I agree about the abs though… a killer ass would be nice. no no it was meant to say abs!

  11. The tattoo thing is old news. Go with changing the hair. Ohh your hair changes every time you use a power! Purple for anger, pink for seduction, yellow for joy, etc..

    You can be Rhainbow Khris Bhrite!

  12. Kris says:

    Kassa: Me too. I'm especially tired of the I love him/I love him not plot. There are only a very few recent series where this has worked really well and, imo, the Ilona Andrews' is probably the best of them.

    At the very least, I wish most authors would go back to doing duologies or trilogies because most of 'em don't have the storylines to take it through to a long drawn out series.

    Tish: But it's a magical tattoo so will only hurt for a few seconds when it 'appears'. BTW, having just recently had my b'day, I resent the implication that I'm now old.

    KBC: *snort* No, no, I couldn't, JRW fan girl.

  13. tish says:

    Humblest apologies deary… to make up for the faux par I shall say this…..
    you'll never be as old as me.
    (k… did I suck up enough or must I bribe with chocolate and man candy?)
    on another note… whilst I was trolling for chrissy pressies I came across chocolate penis'. I know it's been done but these are the 3d versions. You can buy 8,9,10 or the whopper 12″. It was so kewl!!!! I am such a dork sometimes LOL!

  14. Kris says:

    Bribes are always good. πŸ˜‰ Oh, and please to be giving the links to the choccie cocks. It's a rule that you must always share the treasures found as a result of randomly exploring the interwebz.

  15. tish says:

    Will have to troll around again as I didn't save the site…. but heres one I did save.. can't remember why.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2556

  16. tish says:

    Oh yes it was for the cream filled willys and the after dinner willys… silly me πŸ™‚

  17. K. Z. Snow says:

    And now finger wigs? What's next?

    Hey, this world needs some turning around. It was that conviction that led me to write the Utopia-X series. But I realized, human nature being what it is (and paranormals being as volatile as they likely are), even a new beginning based on the best-laid plans would encounter some rough going.

  18. Kris says:

    Tish: I love that product description – “Now here's something to get your teeth into. More than a mouthful of succulent milk chocolate penis to savour at your leisure. Practise your sultry technique or just gnash his head off!” Classy! LOL.

  19. Kris says:

    Finger wigs, K Z?? That's the awesome Beaker from The Muppets.

    “even a new beginning based on the best-laid plans would encounter some rough going”

    True that. πŸ™‚

    The other theory the Bearded Baby Brother and I came up with for 2012 was that the world would literally turn on its head. However, we decided that having a White Christmas would suck big hairy donkey ballz and decided to concentrate on developing theories for the biggest coming out of them all.

  20. and it's in all genres. even the bratling is reading some shiyt that has him thinking about aliens/paranormals coming to Earth just to share a Coke and a smile, or something equally harmless (and useless).

    multi-national government conspiracy to ease us into the idea that there are others out there, and interspecies annihilation maybe isn't the only option?

  21. Kris says:

    I'd believe that. Although it would be a little disappointing if there wasn't the opportunity for a token no-no-strange-creature-I-will-not-be-seduced-by-you-even-though-I've-never-felt-sexual-desire-like-this-before-in-my-life.

    Oh well.

  22. Tam says:

    Well, that thought never occurred to me, but if KB and her magic hoo ha are willing to share in those 10 guys with 8 inch cocks or was it 8 guys with 10 inch cocks, I'm up for a new revolution.

    You think too hard sometimes hon. Really, let the brain cells rest a bit. Have some chocolate, I've got a huge pile of it on my living room floor.

  23. Tam: is there really much a difference between 8 or 10 inch cocks? What's 2 inches really?

    The things that come out of my mouth here. Shocking. And I am such a pure, innocent Catholic school girl and all.

  24. Kris says:

    Tam: It would have occurred to you if you read more urban fantasy and if you had a Bearded Baby Brother who was even more random than you were. And, yes, that is possible.

    The chocolate won't do me much good if it's Canada, hun. Plus it's been known to give me more ideas. πŸ˜‰

    KBC: It's been my experience that it's the Catholic school girls who are the most naughty, especially if they're redheads. πŸ™‚

  25. Mary M. says:

    Answer to the first question is yes I have. Answer to all the others is “no, I haven't”. Lol.

    Orange hair isn't half bad. I went for the purple look myself yerterday, though.

  26. Kris says:

    Mary, write this down then cos this is important shit. πŸ™‚

    Been there, done the orange hair as well as many other shades. At present I have red/black hair. I look awesome. *beams*

  27. orannia says:

    Beaker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ummm…sorry. Kris – you could have a valid point…and I love your and KB's take on the events to come. Although, KB?

    What's 2 inches really?

    Ahhh, excrutiating pain?

  28. Kris says:

    Ah, but some erotica will have it, Orannia, that the magical hoo ha can be, err, 'trained' for Mr Big Cock. Plus, you know, it's magical after all.

  29. Ingrid says:

    Kris, something like a one size fits all thing?

    That Rhainbrow Bhrite Khris sounds a bit like Quick 'n Brite to me. Of course I know you will clean up the world from evil forces but this might be a bit too much??

    Anyway if there are still 6 other demon/angel/vampire/alien walking around maybe one of them can come here to my corner of the world?

  30. Kris says:

    Ingrid: “That Rhainbrow Bhrite Khris sounds a bit like Quick 'n Brite to me. Of course I know you will clean up the world from evil forces but this might be a bit too much??”

    Is funny. I LOL'ed.

    “Anyway if there are still 6 other demon/angel/vampire/alien walking around maybe one of them can come here to my corner of the world?”

    Are you ordering him in 8″ or 10″??

  31. Ingrid says:

    I donΒ΄t care as I have nothing at the moment

  32. Natasha says:

    10″? I'd rather give birth….. again. It'd be less painful. Brag time heheheh….. (I'll leave you to make what you will of that LOL just sayin' don't underestimate the Harley ridin' geek men ;)….. )
    tish

  33. Kris says:

    Ingrid: Yeah, but when you hook up with demon/angel/vampire/alien you don't want to be walking funny to the end of your days, which, btw, have a good chance of being a very fucking long time.

    Tish: You're such a braggart.

  34. Ingrid says:

    Kris, as these are fantasies I am sure that there will be ways to not make such things happen.
    I have never seen complaints in existing books either!

  35. Mumma J says:

    Hey… I've been thinking…

    If the world is gonna change around then that might mean that girls will become boys and boy become girls – yukky… NO, NO, NO!

    Cats become dogs, dogs become cats; blah, blah, blah.

    Hey, I like being a fat, little, old, almost gray haired lady. I is content with my lot in life!

    Mmmmmm… don't wanna think about it anymore…

  36. Oh we forget about brother number 9 who has a thing called a barb in his 10 inch cock. It helps him fight crime and shoots out pretty colors for Kris's crime fighting hair.

  37. Natasha says:

    Oh a bit like the alien book by Laura Baumbach?
    The whole shoot into hair thing… nup not doing it for me LOL!

  38. Kris says:

    Ingrid: It's the magical hoo ha.

    Mumma: You may be content, but I've got another whole lot of years ahead of my getting a period. Becoming a boy sounds pretty good to me.

    KBC: I'm with Tish. I do NOT want spunk in my hair!

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