the worst thing about pron

I know, I know.

The title of this post is quite possibly the last thing you thought you would have seen on my blog, but, kid you not, I have discovered something horrifically bad about internet pron.

Is it running out of batteries you ask?

No. *mutterfilthypervesmutters* It’s something much, MUCH worse.

It’s the fact that the ‘are you over 18?’ is a constant fucking reminder of exactly how old I am!

As if I need any bloody help with that! Grrrrr.

Besides, obviously, looking at the prettie cookies, the only thing which would make it any better would be an option with the answer yes-I-am-over-18-and-thank-you-so-very-fucking-much-for-asking-why-don’t-you-just-pour-a-little-bit-of-acid-over-that-hole-you-just-stabbed-into-my-ego-and-then-ask-me-why-I’m-searching-the-internet-for-pron-instead-of-doing-it-myself-you-judgemental-wankers-you-know-what-take-your-stupid-arse-site-and-shove-it-where-the-sun-don’t-shine-AND-MAY-THE-REST-OF-YOUR-MISERABLE-SEX-LIFE-BE-LIKE-AN-OUT-OF-DATE-CONDOM-YOU-AGEIST-BASTAGES!


So, yeah, I don’t really like that part much.

About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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27 Responses to the worst thing about pron

  1. Chris says:

    *checks expiration date on Kris's meds*

  2. Tracy says:

    omg Thank you! I SO needed that laugh right now. And I have to completely agree with you. It a constant reminder…and dammit, I'm older than you are so it makes me feel like an even bigger perv!

  3. Tam says:

    I don't even read the questions on sites anymore, if there is an option for yes or no, I just automatically click yes without reading. Someday I'll find my mail order bride on my front step or find that I bought a condo in Bulgaria, but ignorance is bliss. And let's not start comparing ages shall we?

  4. ~takes a step back and clears throat~ so…Kris…put down the knife and take a deep breath…

  5. Sagi says:

    ROFLMAO thanks for the laugh i really needed that! πŸ˜€ c

  6. Kris says:

    Chris: I only got them last month! Geez.

    Tracy: “… and dammit, I'm older than you are so it makes me feel like an even bigger perv!”

    That makes me feel so much better. Thanks Tracy! *beams*

    Tam: “Someday I'll find my mail order bride on my front step or find that I bought a condo in Bulgaria, but ignorance is bliss.”

    *snort* Great. Now I'm going to be worrying about this, Tam. You can't tell someone with OCD shit like that. Bloody hell!

  7. Kris says:

    Jase: Puleeze. As is I would ever use a knife.

    They are so passe. *kiss, kiss*

    Sagi: I wasn't kidding! It's fucking depressing. *poutmope*

  8. Or you can feel really naughty and PRETEND that you are underage and still clicking the button…

  9. JenB says:

    You don't like being reminded that you're twice the legal porn age? Hmm…when I put it that way, it does sound old. I don't blame you. πŸ˜‰

  10. Kris says:

    Miranda: Ooooooo, awesome idea! That should work for the first few times at least until my alzheimers kicks in and I forget to do that. 😦

    JenB: YOU BEEYOTCH!!!!!!!!

  11. Eyre says:

    Porn! You people watch porn? Surely not!!


  12. Kris says:

    Eyre: Sorry to destroy your innocence, especially since you are so young and all. πŸ˜›

  13. **news just in**

    Patient missing from Arkam – be warned she is all potty mouth and dangerous…..


  14. Anonymous says:

    Kris, you're kinda scary sometimes… but we love u.

    Veri word; neuratio… neurotic ratio? somehow appropriate.

  15. Lily says:

    Okay… so you only got the meds a month ago. But are you taking them?


    I really don't have a problem with clicking yes, even if it's to say I'm getting old, as long as the pretties are looking hot and being naughty on the other side of the click! πŸ˜‰

  16. Kris says:

    EH: Surely that's not your best effort. πŸ˜›

    Suzi: The hell?! First time you speak to me in months and you friggin' take the piss?! How rude! *hmpf*

    Lily: Yes, I'm taking them! You're all so mean to me sometimes. *poutmope*

  17. orannia says:


    'Age is only a number baby' (to quote Jacob Black πŸ™‚

    Plus, you are actually providing a service…a community service ('cause we're a community IMHO πŸ™‚ And without coolies what would be do? They (whoever 'they' are) shouldn't be asking you about your age…they should be giving you an award!

  18. Kris says:

    Orannia: Finally some sympathy!

    “… they should be giving you an award!”

    Do you read that everyone! Why can't the rest of you be as nice to me as Orannia? Well??

    Orannia, sweet, you will be getting the Minion of the Month Award for your insight and appreciation of my awesomeness. You're welcome. *smooches & snuggles*

  19. Rose says:

    It has the complete OPPOSITE effect on me. Makes me a little happy that I don't have to lie any more, well not for a few years now but the feeling is still young enough to make me smile πŸ™‚

  20. Rose says:

    And veering off on an OCD fuelled tangent, now I'm wondering if I should've typed 'completely opposite' instead of 'complete opposite', it's going to worry me! That and the fact that I started the previous sentence with an 'and'…

  21. nichem says:

    ClickIng on the “are you over 18” to watch porn? Honey, I have have to answer that question every day just to read your blog! And don't even get me started on that little white box at Wave's– that thing moves around.

  22. Matthew says:

    Please… Do you know what it's like to be a gay man? Over 30 – Cookies start to call you “Sir” and are scandalized by the thought you actually have sex.
    Over 40 – Last chance to earn an obscene amount of money and if you're lucky, you can be a sugar daddy.
    Over 50 – Grab the shovel and go to the nearest cemetery, dig a hole and lie down. You're dead for the rest of the gay world.

    And you complain about some clicking on pron sites???

  23. Tracy says:

    Oh really, no problem Kris – just doing my portion. πŸ™‚ Just come to me if you want to feel young. lol

  24. Kris says:

    Rose: “Makes me a little happy that I don't have to lie any more, well not for a few years now but the feeling is still young enough to make me smile :)”

    Braggart! New rule for Rose: When the topic of age comes up you must never ever point out how young you are. EVER.

    Richelle: Whoops, I'd forgotten about that.


    *moving on*

    Matthew! *reads comment* Okay. You win. Having said that, I am single, no kids, over 30, fat, have cats and read romance. That means I am either a spinster or a lesbian. Apparently.

    Tracy: Will do! πŸ˜‰

  25. When the doc asked me all old I was my subconscious kicked in and shaved 3 years off. I get it. I do.

  26. orannia says:

    OOPS! Just realized that I mispelt cookies! *blushes*

    Kris – moi? Minion of the Month Award? I am so honoured!!! *smooches & snuggles right back at ya*

  27. Kris says:

    KC: The thing is I actually look much younger than I am in RL. This internet thing has been a shock to my system. LOL.

    Orannia: You should be.

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