kurious kris

Not scary.  I swearz.

I’m just curious to find out what readers believe constitutes a ‘closed door’ approach to writing sex scenes in romance.

For example, does it mean that everything *waggles eyebrows* happens off page?

Or are you a reader who defines sex as being the actual intercourse bit?  Meaning that anything from BJs to frottage can happen in text, but no boy bits better be going anywhere near any holes *points down* cos that’s behind closed door stuff.

I’ll be interested to see what you all think.

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About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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31 Responses to kurious kris

  1. Off the page sex, to me, means: Kissing and fondling only. No oral, no anal, no intercourse.

    Absolutely no culmination on the page!

    *Note: I can be swayed from this opinion with enough cookies.*

  2. Oh. And BTW – My husband snapped a picture of this door sign at his job.

    O_o

  3. Tam says:

    Yeah. What Miranda said. Usually the 1001 euphemisms for penis do not make a showing and neither does said penis. Kissing yes, maybe some rubbing and dirty talk, but then nekkidness is behind the door.

  4. KB/KT Grant says:

    Off page sex means no intercourse, oral or anal. I would say kissing and touching and no naked bits showing.

    No saying things like bend over or smack my bitch up. Think PG-13.

  5. K. Z. Snow says:

    Pre Harlequin Temptation and Silhouette Desire stuff. Inspy romance stuff. Hints but no hots.

    No grunting, groaning, moaning, squirting, shooting, dripping, trickling, oozing, or gushing. Maybe some spit swap and tongue tangle, but that's about it. I can't remember if body parts are allowed to get hard or not.

    Tam, I believe circumspect euphemisms can make an appearance, like “his manhood,” but I don't think “his manhood” can be too active, much less aggressive.

  6. Val says:

    Ha, ha, ha! What KZ said.

  7. Kris says:

    Miranda: Nice BDSM sign. What the hell happens at your hubby's work exactly??

    “Off the page sex, to me, means: Kissing and fondling only. No oral, no anal, no intercourse.”

    No rubbing off till they cum either? And, yes, I'm being serious. I'm curious.

    Tam: No skin. Go it.

    KBC: “No saying things like bend over or smack my bitch up.”

    Smack my bitch up?? What the fuck have you been reading?!

  8. Kris says:

    KZ: “No grunting, groaning, moaning, squirting, shooting, dripping, trickling, oozing, or gushing. Maybe some spit swap and tongue tangle, but that's about it.”

    Such a way with words, although oozing and gushing make it sound like blood sports. Eep.

    “… but I don't think “his manhood” can be too active, much less aggressive.”

    I think they're only allowed to bulge suggestively.

    Val: 🙂

  9. That sign is posted an old Nestle Chocolate Factory. O_o

    And no cumming allowed. Vague references to PAST enjoyment are ok. As well as vague references to “excitement”.

  10. Jenre says:

    To me 'closed door' means a bit of kissing and maybe heavy petting, but after that it's all fade to black.

    Nothing lewd or rude and definitely no rubbing off!

  11. Kris says:

    Miranda: The chocolate explains everything. 😛

    “As well as vague references to “excitement”.”

    This reminded me of the old regency's I used to read. LOL.

    Jenre: I remember when kissing with tongues was considered lewd in romance and even a good snog wasn't fully described.

    And now I feel old…

  12. Lily says:

    Off page or fade to black sex means nothing besides kissing, maybe a bit of making out, fully clothed. No skin, no hands in pants, no cocks peeking out of the pants either!! 😉

  13. Kris says:

    Lily: “… no cocks peeking out of the pants either!!”

    So strict. 😉

  14. lisabea says:

    Faaaascinating topic.

    I used to read romances back in the day (late 70's early 80's) and closed door meant fade to black as soon as any hanky-panky might occur.

    There was a lot of tension in those books. Lots of longing looks and caught breath, etc… Eventually, after many, MANY pages, a big passionate kiss. It was soooo titillating.

    I was twelve.

    Then you'd turn the page and…

    NOTHING.

    Usually the first line of the next chapter started with the words “Early the the next morning” or “Afterwards he brushed her hair”… or some horse crap like that.

    A few years later, I discovered erotica.

    What are we talking about again? Closed doors?

  15. K. Z. Snow says:

    Such a way with words, although oozing and gushing make it sound like blood sports. Eep.

    You clearly haven't read too much m/f erotic romance. I'll tell ya, when those lady bits get cranked up, they put the Johnstown Flood to shame.

    “ledogi” – I think that's a Frenchman's imitation of Jed Clampett exclaiming, “Well, doggies!”

  16. Kris says:

    LB: “I was twelve.”

    *snort*

    I wonder if the fact that it took so long in those romances before anything physical happened is one of the reasons why I enjoy the build up of sexual tension these days??

    Then again it is just so satisfying for a ready when The Kiss – or something similar happens. By that time you're totally invested in the characters getting together and are as sappy as hell when it does. 🙂

    “A few years later, I discovered erotica.

    What are we talking about again? Closed doors?”

    Erotica = slammed up and fucked hard AGAINST a door. LOL.

  17. Kris says:

    “You clearly haven't read too much m/f erotic romance. I'll tell ya, when those lady bits get cranked up, they put the Johnstown Flood to shame.”

    KZ! EWW!

  18. K. Z. Snow says:

    Yeah, I think discreet, fleeting bulges are acceptable. Can't look like the Gateway Arch, though.

  19. Twimom227 says:

    I agree with KB on the PG-13 and Jenre. The story can imply that there will be more, but it's like a TV show where you see the couple getting frisky and then it goes to commercial. When you come back the act is over and they are getting dressed.

  20. Chris says:

    What everybody else said. Hey, I've had a rough day.

  21. Kris says:

    KZ: The gateway arch? Geezus, KZ, are you trying to make me throw up or what?!

    Jen: “When you come back the act is over and they are getting dressed.”

    Well, the chick is basically dressed but the dude either has his shirt off or is doing up buttons. LOL.

    Chris: Cheat! 😉

  22. K. Z. Snow says:

    Hey, don't blame me for m/f erotic romance language. I could name some publishers, but I'm sure you already know who they are. 😉

    What's wrong with the Gateway Arch? It's a beautiful structure, towering and sleek. I've been under it.

    Heh.

  23. Kaetrin says:

    I'm with just about everyone else I think – kissing and fondling only, everything else off page.

    (Now mostly that just bugs me but there are a few authors who can get away with it – Sean Kennedy I'm looking at you! – and it fits the book and I don't mind at all.)

  24. Kris says:

    KZ: *snort* And I have no idea which publishers you are talking about. I think you should name names. 😛

    Kaetrin: LOL. Sean totally got away with it in T&D… to the dismay of many. 😉

  25. Kaetrin says:

    yeah, well it's true that I wouldn't have complained about some hot smexxin' in T&D *grin* but I yes he did indeed manage to get away with it.

  26. Eyre says:

    'M with Chris. What everybody else said. My brain is frozen.i

  27. Kris says:

    Kaetrin: Maybe we could ask Santa to get Sean to write us a T&D sex scene for Xmas. 😉

    Eyre: Cold, ice cream or hadenufness??

  28. Eyre says:

    Kris, it's cold and hadenuffness.

  29. Kris says:

    😦 Let me check my cookie tin…

  30. Kaetrin says:

    pretty please? *flutters eyelashes*

  31. Kris says:

    Kaetrin, I hear he likes shortbread…

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