Nah, this isn’t going to be a ‘woe is me I’m single on Valentine’s Day**’ post because that would be sad, not to mention boring as bat poo.
Instead, I want to talk about how I’ve decided to add yet another title to my list of descriptors.
So far, I have Queen Bitch, Super Speed Reader, Book Goddess and The Pimp. Added to this will now be…
DOMESTIC WONDER… WONDER… WONDER… WONDER…
This isn’t a play on Nigella’s ‘Domestic Goddess’, but rather a reference to all those things that I – and other single chicks – learn to do around the house besides the cleaning gig.
I mow the lawn (granted it’s more like a sand pit at the moment because of water restrictions); I do reticulation for the garden (good fun in Summer when it’s hot); I fiddle with electronic gadgets to get them working; I spray oil stuff to make locks turn and things not squeak; with much swearing I change washes on taps so that I can sleep at night; I have a handy, electric screwdriver, which every time I use I find myself growling like Tim the Tool Man; and, I’ve even been known to use a sander.
I know. It’s true. I’m full of awesomeness.
You all are wondering why I’m only now just adding DOMESTIC WONDER… WONDER… WONDER… WONDER… to my list of titles.
Let me tell you…
Yesterday, I fixed my toilet.
Trust me it wasn’t a vomity ‘have to’ fix because even I would pay the outrageous call-out fees and deal with butt cracks for something like that.
It was a CLEAN water overflow problem for which I braved
egotistical wankers chauvinistic bastards helpful hardware store guys and carefully read the instructions to put the new floaty whatsit into the tank bit.
With a glow of satisfaction I rang up my baby brother to brag about how good I was before settling down to read a romance, eat chocolate and have a glass of red wine.
So you see. I tell not a lie.
I AM A…
*This is not the thing I was talking about, Jen.
** I noticed a number of people referred to it as ‘VD’ for short. ‘VD’! You know in Australia after both World Wars there were VD clinics for those soldiers who got up to no good whilst overseas. Yes, that’s right, VD clinics. VD as in Venereal Disease. Made me friggin shudder every time I saw it in a post or comment today. Yuck!
Kris,U are truly a Jill of all Trades..You go girl!
Ozakie, my skills are so vast and varied that even I manage to surprise myself sometimes by my greatness. *g*
You ARE a DW. My goodness…fixing your own toilet? That ranks up there pretty far on the DW scale. I’m thoroughly impressed.And yes, VD stands for the same thing in the US.
Thank you, Tracy. *flicks hair, lifts chin and strikes pose* I am definitely THE DW… w… w… w, even if I do say so myself. Really?! It does stand for the same thing?? That’s just… wrong. It’s like wishing someone the itchies and scratchies wrapped up in a heart-shaped box with a big, red bow. Weird.
I’m married and I still have to do half of that stuff. There’s something wrong there!Hub goes all pale and has to sit down if I even mention getting out the drill to put up stuff like shelves/mirrors.I’m still very impressed though. I would have been tempted to call out a ‘little man’ as my Gran would say.
There IS something seriously wrong there, Jen. Does he not know what HIS jobs are? Pale at sight of a drill?? I’m now beginning to understand your ‘thing’ for manly men. It’s the toolbelt riding confidently on the hips, isn’t it.
Woohoo. Way to go. I like to think I’m pretty handy at home. Well, more handy than my ex was which isn’t saying much. I call it v-day. VD does seem like a strange association with something supposedly romantic.
Maybe I can re-work my blog to be ‘DIY Chicks’ and invite you, Tam, and Jen to be contributors. *g* The only problem I foresee is that we may get too busy reading to actually do any of the larger projects. :)VD = disturbing. I also think I saw it referred to as VD Day. Valentine’s Day Day?? Good Grief, People!
LOL anyone who wished me a Happy VD would get an earful, I’m sure (now I’m off to check my site!). They could just say Happy Syphilis and get it over with.