Maybe it’s the cycle of the moon or maybe it’s PMS, but lately a couple of little things in m/m books are making me crazy. This is not related to plot holes big enough to drive a Winnebago through, nor to the sheer proliferation of enormous sexual organs, but to small things so annoying I had to rant to my teenager about number 1.
#1 – Closed bedroom doors
Who in the hell keeps their bedroom door shut when they are not home? Then someone says “But I want to keep my roommate/kids/pets out of the room.” Okay, those are really the ONLY time I can see keeping a door shut. All of the times I’ve noticed it, the protag in question lives alone, not even a freaking cat to do the “scratchy scratchy” thing that cats are so good at.
Now yes, it is nice and dramatic and hot when you can slam your partner against the closed door. But really, there is a wall in the bedroom and for me that only works with the front door. Keep your full body slams to the entryway please and open the damn bedroom door.
#2 – Condoms in the hotel night table drawer
I’ve stayed in plenty of hotels in my day and when I get to a hotel I do NOT put anything personal in the night table. I sometimes check out of curiosity just to see of those sneaky Gideons have been there with their Bibles, but that’s it. Anything personal that I would likely carry in my little travel kit would be on the dresser or in the bathroom.
I’m always amazed when characters travelling with NO intention of having sex, (just broke up, celibate monk) meet a sexy stranger in the lobby and go up to their hotel room within hours of arriving and have already placed the lube and condoms in the drawer of the night table. I’m not saying they might not have them in their travel kit. Hell, I have stuff in there that I never take out, but to put it in the drawer? Sigh Only a couple of times have I ever read someone saying “they’re in my shaving kit on the dresser” or “they are in my luggage” and believe it or not his dick didn’t explode when he had to wait 7.5 seconds for the other guy to retrieve the goods. I know it’s just a convenience to say “in the drawer”, but really, let’s insert just a smidgen of realism here people.
So there are two of my big bug-a-boos, along with eating mousse with a fork. 🙂 Sometimes it can be simple things that make the story move faster so they just gloss over it, but its enough that it takes me out of the book and I have a “Crap, not again!” moment, then continue on. So what little thing(s) makes you crazy when you read? Or is it just me?