warning: this post contains explicit language

I had a commentversation with author K Z Snow recently that touched on the topic of m/m/f and a certain epublisher – yanno, the one who thinks man love is a passing fad – and went something (I cut it down slightly) like this:

K Z~ Actually, my m/m/f’s are pretty good, thank you very much. I just started suffering from toxic levels of Throbbing C***s and Glistening Folds.

The asterisks do
not stand for o-c-k. I’ve found it’s much more fun when they do…and are doubled. πŸ˜‰

Me~ Good one. LOL. I wonder how hard (get it) it would be to start an anti-throbbing clits day?

K Z~ “Clits” wasn’t the word either, babycakes. There’s one even lovelier than that.

Me~ Not THAT word. I fucking hate THAT word.

For those innocents out there who are scratching their heads I’m talking about the C-U-N-T word.

Some of you are probably wondering whether it’s possible for the girl who grew up in a country mining town and who swears as much as I do to actually hate a word. Yes, my friends, it’s possible. I have a line and this is it.

I actually agree with feminist arguments which say women should take up this word and reclaim it from it’s negative connotations. I think this could happen in a similar way that other groups, who’ve born the brunt of prejudice, have taken back the words used against them. In my opinion, ‘queer’ is a good example of this.

However, understanding doesn’t stop me from despising the word, and I have MAJOR issues when it is used within the context of m/f romance or erotic fiction.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m being a bit of a prude on this particular topic.

Tell me, though, do you honestly find a guy saying ‘I want to fuck your cunt’ sexy?

About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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33 Responses to warning: this post contains explicit language

  1. Ozakie says:


    As a male, while I dont have the ahem particular equipment with which you speak of, I would have to agree with you..Something about the word 'cunt' doesnt sound romantic to me at all. It vulgar in my opinion. I know, I know its erotica but maybe that is the point. Cunt verges on porny (OH new word..lOl) language in my opinion. Honestly, when I hear the word cunt, I automatically think of the line off of Silence of the Lambs where Clarice Starling is going to visit Hannibal Lecter for the first time and one of the prisoners say: “I can smell your cunt.” Pls tell me Im not the only one who thinks of that very line when i hear the word cunt or maybe its me (get it?) LOL πŸ˜‰

  2. Tracy says:

    Yeah, I have to agree – I'm not a fan of the word either. It doesn't throw me out of a book so much anymore because I've gotten used to it – which is sad – but I still think of it as a derogatory word.

  3. K. Z. Snow says:

    Lord knows I've written that word often enough, but never comfortably. That's probably because personal experiece has never allowed me to hear “cunt” in anything other than a spiteful or contemptuous context. Never, ever have I heard a man use it in a genuinely sexy or romantic way.

    I'm still mystified about how the word became such an integral part of the erotic romance lexicon. Most females grow up believing it's the most offensive slur we can hear. Frankly, I don't want to “claim” words that have strong negative associations for me. I'd rather find substitutes or come up with new ones.

    So here's the bottom-line question: what are the preferable alternatives?

  4. Lori says:

    Oh, I did a post on this exact word myself a while back. I totally agree with you. 100%. I despise that word. I can grin and bear it when it shows up a couple times but it's frequently the noun of choice for that particular spot. Blech.

  5. Kris says:

    Ozakie: Maybe it is you, funny – and now slightly disturbing in a Hannibal way – boy. πŸ™‚

    I get what you're saying in terms of the use of the word within a porn and erotica context, I just really wonder how many women actually find it sexy. Perhaps a poll would give some indication of this??

    Tracy: I can see how readers would get used to it. It still makes me cringe and then I tend to skip the sex scenes from then on.

  6. Kris says:

    K Z: I pretty much feel the same way as you do about the word, especially based on my own experiences with it being used against me in very derogatory ways. Like you, I'm amazed that such a word has become acceptable in the language of romantic fiction.

    As to alternatives… vagina, vaj, pussy, bush, fanny and sheath are the ones I can immediately think of that I prefer. In Australia, it's also called a 'map of Tasmania'. Tassie being an island state south of mainland Victoria/New South Wales.

    Lori: You posted about this too? Was the response generally that the word was not sexy but rather offensive?

  7. Jenre says:

    I don't mind cunt, but I also don't think it's sexy. When I did the post on the pussy (yuk) word the only viable alternative seemed to be cunt for erotica.

    Having said that I don't like or read m/f erotic romance so I rarely read the word these days.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hi Sissy

    You know that I think the word is revolting – especially when it is aimed at you from a teenager's vile mouth.

    Never mind the fiction, it has become common amongst the kids that I teach for the girls to call each other by that word, “hey
    c—“. Vulgar little people.

    AND see, I cannot even write the word!


  9. Kris says:

    Jen: So it's either pussy or cunt when it comes to erotica?? Blech. Maybe we can make up a new word? How about taking a page from my Asian neighbours' books and start calling it lotus blossom? I know – how about blossie. Your throbbing blossie has a, ummm, nice ring to it.

    Mumma: I thought of you when I wrote this post and how much you hate this word. You need a permanent bucket of water and soap for the kids you teach. They are evil.

  10. K. Z. Snow says:

    Southern American men use “muffin,” which I think is kind of cute. “Biscuit” would work, too.

    Or “clam in a cat wig.” πŸ™‚

    The problem is, we have too many bits to our parts. Know what I mean? “Vagina” is the canal; it doesn't include the exterior stuff.

    Barbie had it easy. Wonder what Ken said when he wanted to do her.

  11. K. Z. Snow says:

    Oh, and “fanny” in the US means ass/arse. This could clearly lead to some unfortunate misunderstandings.

  12. Tam says:

    Um, no. I'd probably slap him after that. LOL I don't even want to type it. Its just so unnecessary. Reclaim it? Why? We HAVE to accept a less than stellar word? Why don't other people stop using it? Blech.

    Thanks to Wikisauraus (who knew that existed?) here are some alternatives: bush, beaver, box, kitty, muff, poontang, minge, quim, twat. Here is a funny article with 40 names for it (and not one of them the c-word) one of the more amusing “penis garage”.

  13. Jenre says:

    KZ: I once saw a DVD of a US motivational speaker who complained that we all spend far too much time on our fannies. The group of us watching just cracked up laughing.

    I have a friend who refers to it as her 'fadge'. She's the only person I've ever heard call it that.

  14. jitterbug says:

    Well, I like neither cunt nor pussy. Probably because English is a foreign language for me I don't really feel why cunt is so wrong – I mean, intellectually I know it is, I've heard it and read it many times before I even knew erotica and romantica existed, and the word always had very negative connotations, so no, I don't find it romantic or even erotic. But “pussy” is what I really, really don't like – even just the sound of the word, I don't know… it's a gut reaction, it makes me recoil. It sounds so sleazy IMO.

    Needless to say, I'm much more comfortable reading of throbbing, rock-hard erections, faulty faucets and all XD

  15. K. Z. Snow says:

    Jen, I cracked up laughing when my ex-mother-in-law, who was from Blackpool, said to an American man, “Keep your pecker up.”

    I'm sure he would've been glad to!

  16. Tracy says:

    My 7 year old calls it her Kanini (pronounced Ka-knee-knee) – maybe we can start a trend! lol (Don't ask me where she got that I have no idea!) πŸ™‚

  17. Kris says:

    Ken said “Hun, there's NO way we can get pregnant. Let's hump bumps.”

    LMAO at clam in a cat wig, K Z.

    Tam: Isn't it amazing what comes up when you type in 'other words for vagina' into Google. *snort*

    Jen: I have a vague recollection of asking the Mumma and Daddy how people could sit on their fannies the first time I heard it on a US tv show. Needless to say, much hilarity ensued which I only understood years later. πŸ™‚

    Sara: You have me intrigued. Are there any similar words in your language?

    The first time I read the phrase 'he was leaking like a faucet' in an m/m all I could think of was that he should really get his tap fixed. O_O Just think of what someone could do with that analogy. LOL.

    Tracy: I like Kanini. I think your 7 year old is on to something there. It's definitely better than 'gynnie' as I've heard it described by young girls here.

  18. K. Z. Snow says:

    I like kanini, too. It sounds both Hawaiian and Italian, and vaguely like food. πŸ™‚

  19. Kris says:

    “Your kanini tastes so good…. and vaguely like coconut… with parmesan…”

  20. Tracy says:

    gynnie? Odd, I must say.

    Kanini – yeah, like food. Kind of like the panini only…not. lol

  21. Kris says:

    “… between crusty bread…”

  22. jitterbug says:

    Kris, I think a good italian translation for “cunt” would be “figa”, or “fica”; the fact is, if someone calls you “figa” they're saying, in a vulgar and coarse manner of course (and I wouldn't feel particularly flattered by it), that you're beautiful. The word is even become an adjective, and something which is “figo/fico” is “something cool” (at least where I live, in the northwest). Isn't it weird?

  23. Kris says:

    Fascinating, but, as you pointed out, a bit weird. LOL.

  24. Tracy says:

    “… between crusty bread…”


  25. orannia says:

    See, I associate c**t with a swear word. It was something that my father used to say…along with a multitude of others.

    I can't see it being used in another way but…I think it would depend on the tone. If I tender tone was used, then maybe…maybe..it might be OK…

  26. Kris says:

    You sound about as convinced as me, Orannia. The word has always been a swear to me too so reading it in the context of a sex scene… nup, it's just not gonna work.

  27. Kris says:

    Tracy: *beams*

  28. Anonymous says:

    Mmmmm… kanini sounds good – and of course, no one would no what the heck you were talking about!

    I like it.

  29. Kris says:

    Well, the ayes have it. Kanini it is. πŸ˜‰

  30. Lori says:

    I like Kanini. For some reason, I ended up calling it my hoohah one time, and now that's what it gets called in jest during moments of high passion, always leading to intense giggling at inopportune moments, of course. As for my post about it, you can read it here: http://annescomments.blogspot.com/2007/01/c-word-just-another-anatomical-term-or.html. It was fairly well split, but most folks didn't care for it during sex.

  31. Kris says:

    LOL, Lori. I can just imagine!

    Thanks for the link to your post. It was interesting to see the different perspectives, especially between the everyday use of the word and when it is used in a sexual context. Fascinating stuff.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Kanini means 'small' in an African dialect spoken in Kenya…

  33. Kris says:

    Really, Suzi?? Well, I guess a chick doesn't have the same size issues that a guy does so it could still be used. LOL.

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