… I’ve been reading a lot of descriptors in m/m romance lately along the lines of ‘as thick as his wrist’.
This is something I’m used to seeing in het romance, but never really noticed how frequently it came up (nudge, nudge) in m/m work too until the last month or so.
I’m not talking about descriptions of guy bits and pieces in general cos this IS romance and readers expect to find out what’s going on in every sexy, if not flattering, detail. I’m talking about the seemingly massive proportions that some dicks take.
Perhaps I’ve been reading a lot of big Alphas/small Betas stories? Maybe I’m the only one who cringes when Mr Thick As His Wrist continues to pound Mr Fisting Fetish into the mattress everyday??
Who knows? Although I do know that this is something which has stumped other romance readers such as the marvellous Lisabea. Check out her post on the subject from 2007.
See. It’s not only me… this time.
Mr Thick As His Wrist continues to pound Mr Fisting Fetish into the mattress
OMG, you kill me. That line and the picture cracked me up.
But seriously (or as serious as can be for this post) I agree. I like the thought of a well-hung man but some of the descriptions leave me with a 'no way not possible' feeling.
I've even read a couple of books where the guy is described as thick as a beer can.
OMG, all I can think is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!! I can't even imagine someone liking a beer can being shoved into them. But in the story the Bottom Boy is loving it.
A book I recently read by Lisa Valdez “Passion” came instantly to my mind while reading your post. The hero was enormous – painfully enormous (so large that he had never been 'all the way in' with a woman before)- but the heroine loved every thick inch of him- while I cringed crossing and uncrossing my legs while reading their story!
OMG, this post is too funny.
But in all serious, as a gay man, I have never been (excuse the pun) hung up on the whole size issue. I mean on one hand, you clearly want the peen to be more than the size of your pinkie, but you dont want it to be the size of a Louisville slugger either. Honestly, that doesnt scream romantic to me. That screams ER and intense pain. I have heard the health horror stories of guys with fisting or being with a well hung guy. Sorry not my cup of tea. It just sounds painful. And trust me, a big peen attached to a guy does NOT equate good sex or that the guy knows what to do with said equipment
Lora Leigh's heroes are always so huge they defy humanity and it just cracks me the hell up. I like a well hung man as much as the next girl but come on – do I really need to read about a cock as big as my arm?
Yeah the massive dick does not do it for me. Yeah, decent sized it good. That's why the whole Elvis story that everyone loved in June turned me off. Yeah right, you cold WALK after that? What about the bleeding? Don't tell me there wasn't any. Not sexy. I have relatively small wrists and when I look at them I think ummm, not good and girls have bits that babies can fit out of, guys don't.
Maybe the wrist belongs to a small-boned (so to speak) gentleman. Or one who's anorexic.
I would use a descriptor with less room for interpretation, like “big as the Washington Monument.” That way, there's no confusion about the actual size.
while I cringed crossing and uncrossing my legs while reading their story! *g* I have that too at times when reading such stories.
Lily: As thick as a beer can?? WTF. Was the guy a barman or something that he had thos kind of associations cos that isn't something you would think would first spring to mind. And can I just say ouch.
MsM: Eeek! I've also read one like that where the couple had to 'train' the chick with consecutively larger dildos before she could take the guy.
Ozakie: I'm grimacing just at thought of someone experiencing something that could lead to health probs. *shudder*
“And trust me, a big peen attached to a guy does NOT equate good sex or that the guy knows what to do with said equipment.”
Nicely said! 🙂
Tracy: I also thought of LL's heroes when I wrote this. I've never been able to work out the barbing and knotting, especially when the guys were meant to be friggin huge in the first place. I guess she gets around this by the whole mate and being in heat thing. Still…
Tam: “… and girls have bits that babies can fit out of, guys don't.”
Now there's a thought. You know in the all the time I've been reading m/m romance, I've actually never considered this aspect. How weird.
K Z: I can just imagine the sex scene now…
“My God, you're as a big as the Washington Monument!”
“Don't worry, babe, it will fit. Now bend over and show me that pretty little rosebud .”
Ingrid: “I have that too at times when reading such stories.”
Haven't we all!
Somebody once said there should be a Martha Washington Monument — a hole in the ground into which George's obelisk would fit perfectly.
You're on fire at the moment, hun. Must be the thought of the woodpile trying to eat you that's making all your grey cells spark.
Getting down to the deets tho… do you think there would be some gigantic kind of pulley system – I'm thinking kinda like an oil rig – that would make George pound into Martha?? And would be there be sound effects?? Soundscapes are always draw cards for tourists.
Just a thought.
We all know the saying 'bigger is better' and that the human body has the capacity for…stretching…but there are limits! And…you don't want to be thrown out of the story thinking 'ouch'!
I'm with Ozakie – it how it's used…so I've been told 🙂
…do you think there would be some gigantic kind of pulley system
*spills water all over the computer keyboard* The image in my head….please get it out!
Adds 'ouch' to gigantic dicks in romance to list of instances where it's not just me. *YAY!*