gratuitous cookie
There are many variations of ‘swallowed him to the hilt’, ‘swallowed him till his nose was buried deep in pubes’, blah, blah.
I have to say, though, that whenever I read the phrase ‘swallowed him whole’ it always reminds me of two things:
(a) that X-Files episode in which a Native American legend comes to life and is forced into eating people to cure them of their illnesses (it made me hurl), and
(b) Moby Dick.
I think the latter has real m/m possibilities.
Kris + Books = Good. *Sometimes*. 
OMG, Kris, your posts are great! They're an antidote to m/m cliches everywhere. I know just what you mean. I get the same reaction when reading m/m fiction to orgasmic statements like, “And then he exploded.” I always picture someone literally flying into bits like he's just stepped on a land mine. Pretty disgusting!
Ooookay. Umm, I don't remember that X-files episode although there was a Supernatural episode about Wendigos who ate people. I think they were
Wendigos. Never read Moby Dick but you just can't see that title without thinking “ouch”.
Swallowed him till his nose was buried in the pubes is my new line I will steal from you. I am so putting that in one of my book I am writing.
Thanks Val. 🙂
Yeah, I feel the same way when I read 'he errupted like a volcano'. I always think to myself does that mean his cum is red and burns like lava too??
Tam: True, but you gotta admit it would make a great porn title. LOL.
KBC: Thief! As long as I get a free copy of the book once you're finished, I guess I'll be happy to call it even. *g*
LOL, great post Kris.
I've always found the line swallowed him whole very disturbing although not quite as bad as when they can barely get the cock in their mouth cause it's so freaking ginormous 0_0
“… does that mean his cum is red and burns like lava too??”
Possibly so! As disturbing (eww-ww-ww) as such an image might be, I guess anything goes in a paranormal romance!
The White Whale only had to swallow Captain Ahab's leg, not a monstrous mushroom-headed, blue-veined, throbbing one-eyed trouser snake. (Too bad Ahab wasn't hung better, or he could've just choked the creature.)
By the way, my WIP is titled Mobry's Dick. Seriously. I almost posted about it today but got distracted. Soon, though.
Lily: I'm with you. I vaguely recall reading a story where one of the guy's sides of the mouth were splitting because the other guy was so pig. The comment was made about needing to get some lip balm or something to help his poor abused mouth'. *rolls eyes* Real romantic.
Val: You're right. We've prob'ly just given some author a great idea for an m/m paranormal. *snort*
K Z: See. We can be off the wall together cos that was pretty much how I imagined the pron going.
“By the way, my WIP is titled Mobry's Dick. Seriously.”
For real?? Ok, that gets added to the spooky list. Post about it soon cos now I'm intrigued.
The other guy was so pig
Really, Kris, really? Bit of a slip there.
And hello, cookie. Nom nom nom.
Definitely Freudian. *snicker*
A very tasty cookie indeed.