dear jake

Arsehole Riordan Jake

Well, well, well. Look at you being all lovey dovey and stuff.

Yeah, pal, that’s right.

Everyone else may have bought your redeemed yourself bullshit, but don’t think I didn’t notice that ‘I-worship-Adrien-so-much-that-I’m-going-to-give-him-one-final-ultimatum’ crap.

You’re not fooling me, mate:

Pfft to your new found sappy ways,

A Doubting Kris.

About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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61 Responses to dear jake

  1. Val says:

    Dear Arsehole Riordan Jake? Ha, ha! This would be even funnier if I'd read the series (still planning to), but it speaks well for the series that it can inspire this kind of emotion from a reader!

    I LOVE the cat photo! He looks positively Satanic!

  2. Chris says:

    Crap. So that's where Chaos vanished. Damn wormhole. I'll have to toss the child-proof cupboard locks through it for you, Kris. No need to send him back anytime soon, now that I've determined he's actually Basement Cat and not merely a minion.

  3. only on book 1 but right now Jake is a bit too standoffish for me. This may all change as I read on to book 2.

    That LOLCat picture had me pissing it is too funny.

  4. Jenre says:

    Stirrer 😉

  5. Ingrid says:

    *shakes head* Think you are a lost cause Kris

  6. Tam says:

    TBR, TBR. I'm getting there. You must have faith in the ability of leopards to change their spots or stripes or some such nonsense. I'm sure he's sincere.

  7. Kris says:

    Val, you need to read the series so that you can join the legions of readers who agree with me. 😉

    Chris: The hell. He's Basement Cat?? No wonder the Russian Mobsters are misbehaving even more than usual.

    Yeah, it's possible.

    Katiebabs chook: “This may all change as I read on to book 2.”

    No it won't. He turns into an even bigger prick. Trust me.

  8. jitterbug says:

    Once he was told that ultimatums are not the way to prove true, everlasting love he changed his song, so maybe he's just a bit dense ;).

  9. Kris says:

    Jenre: I don't know what you mean.

    Ingrid: Funny. I think the same way about you lot. *g*

    Tam: O_o

    Wren: Yeah, but didn't we establish yesterday that you're insane??

  10. Kris says:

    Sara, a bit dense?? Dude, it took him 5 friggin' books to get his shit together. He's more than 'a bit'.

  11. nichem says:

    Aww, give poor Jake a break. I'm sure he's sincere with his lovey doviness. Deep down, you know he is, Kris– just admit and and you'll feel better. 🙂

  12. Chris says:

    Kris – Make sure you keep an eye on the Mobsters. If they seem to be slowly turning a darker grey? They are moving up the minion latter and you need to be very, very afeered.

  13. Chris says:

    Ladder. Ladder. Ladder. Ladder.

  14. Sean Kennedy says:

    Oh, waa! It must be getting pretty lonely standing out on that ledge all by yourself, Kris.

  15. Chris says:

    Actually, I think TeddyPig's out there on that ledge, too.

  16. Kris says:

    Richelle: “I'm sure he's sincere with his lovey doviness.”

    You keep telling yourself that, hun, since it obviously makes you feel better.

    Chris, on it!

    Sean, being the sole voice of reason has never worried me before.

  17. Wren: Yeah, but didn't we establish yesterday that you're insane??

    No. We did not. We decided that you have ways of making sane people do crazy things. *mutterstuckinanelevatormyassmuttermutter*

  18. Kris says:

    Semantics. Don't you just hate 'em, Wren. *beams*

  19. Sean Kennedy says:

    You keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you'll even believe it.

    *doesn't even know why he's defending Jake that much, since he pretty much think he's an arsehole up until one certain line in book #5, but pretty much just likes needling Kris when he gets the opportunity but really thinks he should just give up and go have another coffee and try to finish that fricking first draft that keeps taunting and tormenting him until he wakes up at 3am in a cold sweat thinking he'll still be working on it in his eighties*

  20. Sean: Please keep needling Kris. I likes it when you do. I'm sure it's a way for your brain to process that first draft writing biz.

    Kris: pbbbth!

  21. Kris says:

    *rolls eyes*

    Youse are like sooo metchewure.

  22. Chris says:

    Hmm, Kris, maybe you need to add some complexity to Wren's story with a sudden death overtime vote on some additional options…

  23. Chris: *sputtersputtersputter* Sudden death my eye! *whyioughtta..*

  24. Kris says:


    *changes plans for tomorrow's post*


  25. Chris says:

    *looks adorably innocent and adjust halo to a rakish angle*

  26. Okay *backing slowly out of the room* just see if I ever buy either of you a drink ever again. Or give you chocolate. Or cookies. Or write about sweet slow kisses. Well, I'll write about them but won't let you read them.

  27. Kassa says:

    I actually think Adrian's a bit of an ass in the final book. There's the parade of ex's while he strings Jake along. He doesn't want to be with him but doesn't want to leave.

    Keep your eyes on the shifty A – man. He's going to ruin the happy ending.

  28. orannia says:

    I absolutely adore the photo. Val is write – the cat does look Satanic…and the look on his face is one I recognize…

    I haven't met Jack yet, but I am almost about to start! Oh, I'll be just behind KB. And I'm sorry to say Kris I'll be going in with an even mind…I have to give Jake the benefit of the doubt…at the beginning *evil grin*

  29. Ingrid says:

    Orannian (and Val), you will at least know that all will be well in the end.

    While we poor readers were left in the dark

  30. Kris says:

    Wren: *tsking* See. Sooo metchewure.

    Kassa, well, it's not like you know that I won't bite, right. 😉 So…

    Speaking of stringing along; what about that Jake, eh, constantly fucking around and messing with Adrien's head.

    That's right.

    Revenge is sweet sayeth the Kris. 🙂

    Orannia: Pfft to open minds!

  31. Natasha says:

    Did you think Adrien – with an E – was a bit of a twat in the last book. I use to feel that Jake was the real arsehole but now I'm not so sure. But then again I do like Jake. Yes he's an idiot/deserves to be shot/ strung up by his testicles in a loveable way but at least he told Adrien – with an E – what was what up front. Have to remember that he must have had some redeeming quailties otherwise Adrien – with an E – wouldn't love him so much….. but then again Adrien – with an E – does seem to 'get off' on emotional abuse.


    Anybody work out that Adrien with an E erks me!!!!! LOL

  32. Natasha says:

    Please forgive me….. it's bloody cold here (no snow but lots of ice….. someone explain how it can be -5c and not snow?)
    I still like Jake and I will say that they are perfect for each other. Jake can inflict emotional abuse on AE and AE will take it and love every second of it. (I mean he has Lisa as a mother for goodness sake, he's use to it)


  33. Kris says:

    Tish, LOL. Don't you apologise for your opinion, hun. I definitely don't and look at the fun it gets me into. 😉

    FYI, “Jake can inflict emotional abuse on AE and AE will take it and love every second of it.” equals twu wuv. Apparently. 🙂

  34. Kassa says:

    Hey! I'm not saying Jake doesn't deserve it.. just that A's no better. So if you're going to call out Jake, you gotta call out Adrien too. Fair's fair right 😀

  35. Kris says:

    Kassa, no, in this case it's not. 😉

    In all seriousness though, yeah, I did think Adrien was surprisingly reticent about making a decision about Jake when he knew all along that Jake was it for him. At the same time it was pretty obvious that his health situation had had a major impact on his emotional state and he didn't have the same confidence he had had previously.

    Actually, the whole book was a bit of role reversal switch, didn't you think?

  36. Eh, see I tried getting into the Adrien English books & I couldn't. I dunno…there's something about them that rubbed me wrong. Maybe it was Jake? lol

  37. Ingrid says:

    Bridget! Sacrilege! Shame on you *g*

    I like the reversal role thing Kris.

  38. Kris says:

    Bridget: It was definitely Jake. 🙂

    Ingrid: I did and I didn't. A lot of it was ace, but there were a few parts where it just didn't gell for me given what had gone before it.

  39. Tracy says:

    Jake is just misunderstood. Misunderstood I tell you!!!
    I love Adrien.

  40. Kris says:

    Exactly who're you trying to convince, Tracy? Cos Ingrid says I am a 'lost cause'. *g*

  41. Ingrid says:

    You are. I have no clue what Josh could write more to convince you of Jake's good intentions.

  42. Tracy says:

    Kris – you just may be. But I wuvs ya anyway. 🙂

  43. Mariana says:

    Awww, I love Jake! I love Adrien too. I think they were both reacting to their own circumstances without really thinking of the other.

    I always thought he could've done better, but that he finally got it was fantastic. I hope you give him the benefit of the doubt soon… maybe on the re-read?

  44. Kris says:

    Ingrid: The answer is quite simple. A BDSM scene where Jake is the sub. I don't think that's too much to ask.

    Tracy: I wuvs you despite your tastes too. 😉

    Mariana: It's true that Adrien got his happies with Jake. I s'pose I should also be happy for them. *kicks dirt* Whatever.

    *ponders* Granted, though, there is a certain appeal to the idea of rereading Jake being lovey dovey after all this time… However, the jury is out on the 'benefit of the doubt' thing. I'm not giving up that easily. Hmpf!

  45. Finished book 2. Not liking Jake all that much.

  46. Kris says:

    You know what I'm gonna say, right.

  47. le prick?

    I must say thought, Jake is quite good in bed, the confused jackass.

  48. Chris says:

    Have you submitted your subbing request to Mr Lanyon? 😉

  49. Kris says:

    Katiebabs chook: I predict whatever you think about his prowess will disappear under his complete fail in books 3 and 4.

    Chris: I may have mentioned a fe- okay, maybe 4 or 5 times, but Josh won't cave. He can be so mean. *pouts*

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