maybe it’s me, but…

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about gay guys carrying around their test results with them on the off chance they hooked up.

At the time, a couple of people mentioned something which I’d also thought about; that is, even if they did carry around the results, where the hell would they put them???

Let’s face it, some m/m romance and erotica authors would have us believe that a lot of guys wear tighter than tight pants in order to show off their goods.

If that’s true – and, hey, no complaints here – , how can they possibly fit little packets of lube, condoms, test results, keys, money, etc, all in the pockets of their skinny jeans?

For example, do you seriously believe that there’s anything else going into these pants??

reproduced from Tam’s guest post especially for Matthew

Yeah. Didn’t think so.

Case closed.

About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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29 Responses to maybe it’s me, but…

  1. Tam says:

    They keep it here silly, in their undies.

    To be honest I rarely see guys in tight pants. They aren't really in style for men like in the 70's. But in m/m fiction it seems to be the only kind of jeans you can buy. FICTION, made up shit as KZ says, so I can go with it.

  2. Cecile says:

    Well… you do have a very valid point there. But as the first picture points out… Some guys do wear those tight jeans. I have seen **okay gawked** at those very fine men wearing those jeans. But they normally look like the first picture you have up there. That is normally what you see too, lol!
    But you are right – just where do they carry all that crap at!

    Fiction ~ yep! Love it ~ yep!
    Have a great day! Thanks for the visual aids!

  3. Chris says:

    Hmm. Maybe in the rolled up sock stuffed down the front of their tight jeans… πŸ˜‰

  4. Val says:

    I think what Chris said sounds very likely!

  5. LMBO! You know this is my most favorite no-no blog right? hehe

    That second image is great! No idea where the lube, test results etc are kept. That thing in the pants is big, maybe he keeps in there? woohoo!

  6. Ingrid says:

    It looks like a waterproof tube one used to wear around the neck as kid for money and such. Maybe it is in there? It should be big enough

  7. Leontine says:

    The straight model of the jeans can show off something more but the second pic…hubby's jaw dropped a mile and then some when he walked by rofl

    Other then some form of magic pants they can't hide all that stuff in there…what if the lube tube started to leaking *eek*

  8. Tam says:

    Leontine: They use the individual lube packs which are freaking hard to find. However I got them at the Gay Pride parade so maybe they all stock up. I think family health centres probably carry them as well or the good old internet where you can buy everything you need on-line.

    The ones I got are the same size/shape as a condom pack so you could have one of each and they wouldn't take up much room. Maybe they have a murse (man purse)?

  9. Ingrid says:

    EEEKS! Not those things they tie around their waste Tam??
    Those are so so….. yuck! Out of date, fashion, dorky whatever you want to call it. Luckily you don't see them often here. Same counts for cell phones. They go in the pocket not clipped to ones belt. That is such a fashion no no in NL.

  10. Jenre says:

    They carry a manbag, silly.

  11. Magic Pants. Heh heh.

    In addition to the fascinating undies Tam mentioned, there are a bunch of other brands out there, including “secret pocket”. And here's the lube one might put in the pocket:

  12. @Tam, my oldest refers to Pride as “Trick or treat for condoms.”

    A manpurse is not a fannypack. It can be as macho as Indiana Jones' satchel or as unobtrusive as the ubiquitous briefcase or laptop bag.

  13. Tam says:

    I worked with an Iranian professor years ago who always carried a manbag. It was like a giant wallet with a wrist strap. It was “normal” for him. No, no, not fanny packs. Phones in pockets.

    I actually HATE going out to events and having to carry a purse. It's a PITA. If I'm going out with friends or so something where I don't need a bag I stick some money, phone and my credit cards in my pocket and that's it.

    Some famous guys using murse . Although I'm not sure Snoop Dog in a plastic hair net is “famous”.

    Angelia: The most interesting one we got was from the Green Party of Canada, it was green and said something like “save energy, heat up the bedroom” or something like that. LOL

  14. MsM says:

    They clench it with their butt cheeks.



  15. Kris says:

    Tam: Well, of course! I'm can be such a dill.

    “To be honest I rarely see guys in tight pants.” Really?? What about the close fitting, stove type style trousers and stuff?

    I can absolutely go along with the 'made up shit' angle, but that's an awful lot of shit to be carrying in tight pants. Just sayin'.

    The Baby Brother had a LV man purse for a while when he was in his gansta phase. *don't ask. just don't* I like the courier bag look myself. I think it's hot. πŸ™‚

    Cecile: That first pic had me thinking that stuff in a guy's back pocket is kinda the equivalent of a panty line. So how come with a guy that's sexy, but with a girl it's a no-no?? Don't you think that's weird?

    Chris: I guess that would be both handy or awkward depending on the circumstances. LOL.

    Val: Oh, c'mon, Val. It's not always false advertising, you know. πŸ˜‰

  16. Kris says:

    Fiction Vixen: I'm really not that bad *really*, but I'm glad I'm a fave. LOL.

    “That thing in the pants is big, maybe he keeps in there?”

    God, and the images that this comment conjured up in the mind of Kris shall never be mentioned again… eva!

    Ingrid: Hell no to the fanny pack/bum bag!

    I like your suggestion about those waterproof thingys, but don't you think it might kill the mood when they have to stop and undo the top of the tube etc for the lube and condoms. Inevitably, the stuff in the tube will go flying as they fumble their way to get bagged and slicked.

    Actually, it will probably go flying anyways when the size slut realises he's been taken in by a prosthetic penis.

    Leontine: LMAO!! Your hubby saw? Hilarious!

    Funny you mentioned magic pants. I was thinking that the pants pockets could be the gateway into a cache (ala Meljean Brook). Either that or a magician's top hat. I think the former has more smutty potential. *g*

    Jenre: Out clubbing though, Jen? Even I didn't carry a purse when I did that, which was in a galaxy far, far away…

  17. Kris says:

    Wren: So you're with the magic pants idea then? I'll remember that the next time I read about tight jeans in one of your stories. πŸ™‚

    Wren, you should've been around when Tam went on her ' mini packets of lube do they really exist?' investigation. That was fun. LOL.

    KZ: Exactly what are you carrying in your hand… or is that Ms Castanet on your computer again being all innuendoy?

    Angelia: “my oldest refers to Pride as “Trick or treat for condoms.””

    LOL. Good one, and very true as Tam discovered. πŸ™‚

    MsM: *snort* Insta tight arse!

  18. K. Z. Snow says:

    Sorry. Castanet decided to answer the last question in your post: do you seriously believe that there's anything else going into these pants?? She thought it was a riddle or a contest or something.

    From now on, I'm hiding the rum.

  19. Kris says:

    KZ, now having come to know MsC very well during our island holiday I figured the response was typical of her.

  20. The style that kills me are the skinny jeans which so do not work on 99.9% of the population. it's ridiculous.

    And most of the gay men I know dress like everyone else, just a lot better. lol

  21. orannia says:

    I'm guessing someone, somewhere, has designed tight pants with a pocket somewhere! Maybe they have a hole in their shoes for essential items, like James Bond…or Maxwell Smart πŸ™‚

  22. Kris says:

    Bridget: Nothing is sexier than skinny jeans falling off the not-there-butt of some skater or emo wannabe. *wrinkles nose*

    Orannia: Oh! I forgot about Maxwell Smart shoes. Now there's a possibility. πŸ˜‰

  23. Natasha says:

    I don't know where they keep their money etc and I don't care…. I just want to come back as those white jeans! PLEASE!


    Oh you know how guys check out girls erm 'rack'…. I think it's only fair that all men should wear a cock ring to stay erect so that girls can check out the size of their erm 'rack' Just sayin'

  24. Tam says:

    You should run for parliament Tish, get that made into a national law, maybe Canada would follow suit. πŸ˜€

  25. Kris says:

    “Oh you know how guys check out girls erm 'rack'…. I think it's only fair that all men should wear a cock ring to stay erect so that girls can check out the size of their erm 'rack' Just sayin'”


  26. Do you think it might be in their socks…

    I know none of my friends wear skin tight jeans like those…


  27. Kris says:

    EH, that could get kinda smelly. πŸ™‚

    Actually you know I think I've read a story where the guy had the key to his apartment in his boot… damn, what was that….

  28. Polt says:

    I'D like to get into those pants!


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