It’s my turn in the Epic Author Fandom Blog Crawl, which is the brainchild of the marvellous Kassa. Yesterday, Chris sang the praises of Charles de Lint and tomorrow Erotic Horizon, who was also responsible for our lovely bloggy button, is up with her fan letter.
I know you’ve all been waiting on tenterhooks to see who I would choose. Yes, I found out about the whispers as to what author could possibly match Kris’ own awesomeness. I even heard about the bets being made on certain m/m authors.
I am sorry to say your guesses all sucked – that seems to be a major problem for some of you – because there is only one author who reigns supreme in the eyes of Kris and this is the God of all Book Gods, the absofuckinglutely amazing…
*hand to heart and moment of silent awe*
Dear Sir Terry
I love you and I want to have your babies.
PS – My biological clock is pretty much flat-lining so if you could let me know what you think asap that would be appreciated.
PSS – I’ve been told by a certain person whose name begins with ‘K’ that my letter may need a wee bit of editting. I said she should have let us know there was a word count minimum before we agreed to do this. Plus, this sums up my feelings exactly AND you’re a Sir. Why the need to pontificate??
PPS – K$#@a is big meanhead. 😦
PPSS – Sir T, so *glaring in the direction of North America* I have to tell you why I love you so much. Although I would have thought that my willingness to go through morning sickness, the possibility of gestational diabetes, labour, sore nipples and smelly nappies made it pretty friggin’ obvious how I felt, but apparently not. *See. A meanie.*
10 5 Reasons Why I Want To Have Sir T’s Babies Love Sir T
1. Sir T, you are the only author I religiously buy in hard cover. *What?! It’s a fucking honour! Do you have any idea how expensive they are in Australia?! Alright, alright.* *muttereveryone’sabloodycriticmutter*
2. Sir T, you are a master of parody. Over the years you have not only turned your attention to the tropes of the fantasy genre, but to such topical issues as bigotry, anthropology, politics, bank crises, war and sports culture. Your satirical genius never ceases to amaze, delight and provoke thought.
3. Sir T, your skills at word smithing and story telling are matched by your humour. Your sly, clever and wicked wit always has me gigglesnorting and laughing out loud throughout your books. You entertain at the same time you stimulate. A difficult balance that you manage to achieve brilliantly and seemingly effortlessly.
4. Sir T, you create the most interesting and unique characters who are also extremely engaging. Never in my life would I have believed that I could have crushes on a grumpy, snarky copper, an omniscient, manipulative dictator, and, most of all, the complicated and compelling DEATH. Yet, I adore them. Of course, the way my mind works and all that…
5. Finally, Sir T, I deeply admire you for the courage with which you have faced your diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s. My heart broke a little when I heard about your illness and then I was completely in awe at the dignity to which you approached it.
While there is no doubt I shall miss the possibility of new releases from you, I know I will get so much enjoyment out of rereading those already published. As I already have done. Time and time again.
That, Sir T, is one of the greatest gifts any author can give a reader and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me these truly wonderful experiences.
My own letter pales in comparison.
PS When did I get my own tag?! *worries*
PPS My veri word is a lovely phonetic spelling of kinetic: knettic.
This is a fabulous letter, Kris, especially considering how hideously expensive that hardbacks imported to Australia must be! You'll be happy to hear that at my husband's job, which is very computer intensive, they've named every computer in their network after Terry Pratchett characters. Obviously, you're in good company with your Terry Pratchett fandom. 😉
I would have guessed this but no one told me. 😛 Amazing letter sweet, worthy of a Sir to be certain. I keep saying I'm going to read one of his books but I never seem to get to it. Guess I need a bigger kick in the butt. Great job.
Ha! After I typed that I looked down at my word veri was butzing. That's what I need, some zing in the butt.
Only you Kris, only you..
Sir T baby indeed…
Great choice, he's another autoher that I want to read the gaphic novel of his work – the Discworld books looks awesome..
I was also sadden to hear about his illness, but everytime I see him – he is just the total gentleman with a quiet grace about him..
Chris: It is true. I give good letter. Although if I was you I would be bragging to the hills that Charles de Lint's wife stopped by to make a comment on your post. That's friggin' awesome. 🙂
Val, thanks! I like your husband and his workmates. Having said that I think I would be pretty terrified of the computer named after Lord Vetinari. LOL.
Tam: The Mumma said something similar, ie 'is there any real point in asking who your fan letter will be to?'
“Amazing letter sweet, worthy of a Sir to be certain. “
Really?? Then I proved worthy. *bows head*
You should definitely read him. He is Teh Awesome. Start with one of my faves: Going Postal. It is a blast.
EH: “Only you Kris, only you…”
Thank you. *beams* Oh, I have a couple of the Discworld graphic novels. They're great. Get some, get some, get some!
“I was also sadden to hear about his illness, but everytime I see him – he is just the total gentleman with a quiet grace about him..”
Yes. There is a great clip of Sir T giving a speech about it on his website. He is so inspiring.
What a great letter, Kris!
I've looked at his books on Amazon before, but there were so many I didn't know where to start. Do the Discworld books need to be read in order? Anyway, I see you recommended Going Postal to Tam, so I guess I'll start there.
Aw, I KNEW IT!
Yessiree, as soon as I read about the Crawl, I knew you'd be loving up T.P.
And what a wonderful letter!
Richelle: Ta, lovey! 🙂
There are some books that you should read in order because they follow a storyline with the certain characters. Others, like Going Postal, can be read as stand alones. GP has a follow up book, Making Money, which is just as hilarious.
Oh, and there is a Discworld YA series that your kids – and you – might like. It start's with The Wee Free Men.
KZ: I know I should be worried that I've become too predictable, but, seriously, this is Sir T we're talking about. Everything else pales into insignificance.
And thanks. 🙂
No offense to the other bloggers…your letter….frickin awesome.
I have never read any Sir Terry either, but when I am done here i am off to find Going Postal.
I was not involved in any of the off-blog betting, so no stake in this…but as a lowly minion novitiate might I humbly suggest a post in the near future with the M/M author you might have chosen if not for the brilliance that is Sir T
I should have known…:) Great letter, Kris. Even the part Kassa made you write!
vw: unapme – what to say when someone bores you
I think you said it brilliantly in your original letter. Although I did enjoy reading your 5 reasons.
I've not read any of Sir T's books. Perhaps one day I'll join the fan club.
Heidi: “… your letter….frickin awesome…”
*blushes* I know. 🙂 If you do succumb to the temptation of GP, let me know what you think. I'll be really interested to hear.
“as a lowly minion novitiate might I humbly suggest a post in the near future with the M/M author you might have chosen if not for the brilliance that is Sir T “
Hmmm. Maybe. Did I tell you I'm opening a new minion level just for those who've sold their souls to me? You could be the first, Heidi. It would be your honour, I'm sure.
Wren: You too? I guess I've talked about my love for Sir T a few times before then. LOL.
Lily, thanks. I thought my first letter rocked too. 🙂
“Perhaps one day I'll join the fan club.”
Do eeeeeeeeeeeeet. You know you want to. 😉
I didn't take any bets, but I was really curious who you'd pick.
Wonderful job Kris, that was really great.
Keep us posted about the baby situation – I got an extra breastpump from my last baby shower. It's all yours! *hehehe*
Before you stake me like a day old vamp, let me say that was a lovely letter and perhaps award winning. It's definitely one of the best of the blog crawl (I knew I should have put you last).
Thanks for participating. I'd apologize for being mean but well you didn't *use* the edits I suggested so clearly something's wrong with you.
Hail to sir TP!
MsM; Awww. You're so generous. Thanks! For the breastpump and all. *g*
Kassa: *Hail to Sir T!*
Although your suggested edits were good, I didn't think 'I want to have your babies via a surrogate' quite revealled the depths of my worshipful love for Sir T. Nice thought, though.
“… perhaps award winning…”
What do you mean 'perhaps'? I'd better be getting a prize. Just warning you.
Kris – I'm opening a new minion level just for those who've sold their souls to me? You could be the first, Heidi. It would be your honour, I'm sure.
It would be my honour. I gotta ask.. With my new obsession with Aussie Footy I have been trying to decide what club I want to support, cause I want an awesome scarf. The sweaty men in little shorts is awesome, but the use of the scarf as the accessory of choice was when I knew this was the sport for me. I was thinking Richmond (grrrrr!)cause everyone loves the under dog and to show solidarity with Simon from Tigers and Devils. Then I thought maybe Gold Coast, cause they are new and I am new. But if you are forming Minion levels then you can have scarves!!!
No Really.. think about it.
They could be stripped pink and blue/gray with KGB. It is homage on a couple levels. And “Cats” is already taken.
And really off topic, but with all the uproar over the fuckwit Akermanis, does he really think that teams know as the Swans and the (mag)Pies aren't asking for someone to come out.
Heidi: “But if you are forming Minion levels then you can have scarves!!!
No Really.. think about it.
They could be stripped pink and blue/gray with KGB. “
O_O *makes a note to bribe the Mumma into knitting some special scarves*
If you follow Richmond, Sean will love you forever. I'm a Dockers supporter so am a wee bit biased when it comes to recommending a team to barrack for.
Sean and I were talking about this last week and agreed that Akermanis is a complete and utter fucktard. I hope Karma fucks him over but good, the bigot.
BTW, if you decide to become a fan of Collingwood you and I are through. You've been warned.
Great letter Sissy… Of course Sir Terry had to be the recipient – after all you bitch about the purchase of hard covers of every other author but his masterpieces.
Remember that day when we found out he was to be signing autographs at a nearby bookstore and you could only carry half of your books to ask him to sign. He was so sweet.
I have to say that if you were going to be impregnated by someone from afar he'd make a good choice.
I meant to join in the fun, but forgot to add my name to the list – what a shame.
@ Heidi – all I'm saying is: “carn the Dockers”.
veri: flaticip – stale champagne?
Forgot to say Akermanis is a piece of dirt not even worthy of being under the boot of the greats such as Pavlich (captain of the Dockers).
“I have to say that if you were going to be impregnated by someone from afar he'd make a good choice.”
Thanks Mumma. I knew I could count on your support. *beams*
I remember with great joy that day I was in the presence of my Book God. *stares dreamily into the distance*
In the case of a house fire, I am pretty sure that I would save my treasured autograph Sir T books over the Boy Kittens… especially if it happened to coincide with dinner time and they were yelling their heads off.
Going Postal start on one of the challenges over here today…
I must record it…
I never like to watch a show before I read the book, but I might just have to this time..
**that should read TV Channel not challenge..
I bow down in awe. How could anyone not be moved by such an declaration?
Going Postal is on TV here tonight – must remember to watch – could never resist a little Moist-ness.
witylin – a relative of yours?
Thanks for the recs! I'll check out the Discworld YA for the kids.
I am in awe of the fabulosity of you letter! It's so spectacular, that i had to make up a new word to describe it. Yes, it has fabulosity!
isn't it lovely when you find such an author you want to have babies with? Such a lovely letter!
Kris, this letter is fantastic!
EH: You have Going Postal on TV there?? I am soooo jealous. I'm a big fan of the film adaptations of Sir T's books. Hogfather is my fave Christmas movie. *g*
Juniper: *green with envy* You too?? I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!
“I bow down in awe. How could anyone not be moved by such an declaration?”
Your words to Sir T's ears. 🙂
PS – How can you resist a main character with the name of Moist? To read it is must.
Richelle: Welcome. If you do get them, let me know what the kids think of them. I imagine they'll have a blast with the accents of the Wee Free Men.
Eyre: Awww. You made up a word especially for me. *sniffle*
Question: Do you think this will impress Sir T? Cos I'm thinking that I will need everything in my arsenal to convince him that I am a suitable bearer of his babies.
Katiebabs chook: “isn't it lovely when you find such an author you want to have babies with?”
True that. It's a lifetime commitment after all. 🙂
Sara: Thanks, hun, but really Sir T is the fantastic one for inspiring my awesome letter.
That is one fabulous letter Kris! And I didn't know about Terry Pratchett's illness – so sad 😦
Kris…. one word.. awesome!
Bow down to the mighty awesomeness of Kris and Sir….
Hope all is well honey!
I love you Kris. If I could, I'd sperminate you with my babies. But, I have no sperm, and…well I guess you didn't really ask for my babies dammit! Fabulous letter!!
Orannia: I was devastated when the Grandad told me about Sir T. I thought at first that there must have been some mistake, but no. Sir T is amazing in the way he is dealing with his illness. A truly inspiring man.
Cecile: “Bow down to the mighty awesomeness of Kris and Sir….”
We accept your genuflecting. You are worthy. 🙂
FV: If you really loved me you wouldn't raise my hopes and then dash them like that in a couple of sentences.
Of course, if Sir T's sperm wiggles along, yours would be down the drain anyways. 😛
Love it! I haven't read any Sir Terry but now I must!
Never would I dream of supporting those such as Collingwood. That may have been mostly because I was looking for teams from the Perth area, then looked at the standing, then saw the new team. But I thank you for your graciousness and mercy in steering me away from folly.
I now consider myself a supporter of the Dockers with a special place in my love for Richmond. Cause apparently Richmond needs all the love it can get, thirty years is an impressive dry spell.
Patti: Sir T is Teh Awesomest of the Awesomes. Everyone should read him.
Heidi: Good girl. I approve. Also, if there was such a thing as a mascot for underdogs Richmond would be it.
PS – The Mumma is knitting Kris 'n' Good Books scarves. They will be Purple. And Amazing.
Well, that was some letter *g* Again, another author I've heard of several times over the years but whose books I've never read. I know my education is severely lacking because of it.
I am also saddened by the author's diagnosis of Alzheimer's. I cannot imagine how that must challenge the spirit. Thank you for the reminder.
Stacy: I'm pretty sure that you got to hell if you don't read at least one of Sir T's books in your lifetime. Just warning you.
“I am also saddened by the author's diagnosis of Alzheimer's. I cannot imagine how that must challenge the spirit. Thank you for the reminder.”
This is an illness that truly break's your heart. The fact that Sir T is using his profile to raise awareness and promote medical research is both amazing and admirable.
Pregnant already, Kris?
Fabulous and very honest letter! Loved it and thanks for the laughs, chuckles, smiles and grins. 🙂
Janna: I've yet to hear from Sir T about this. I think that means he's seriously considering my offer.
And thanks love. 🙂
best. fan. letter. evah.
Kaetrin: *blushes* I know. Thank you for recognising it's brilliance. 😉
Are you a Sir T fan, Kaetrin? Oh, and how did you go with the Laney Cairo?
I'm not a Sir T fan myself (my husband is a huge fan however and would probably agree with your fan letter entirely – babies and all!) – I haven't ever read any of his books. I read a lot but there are so many romance books out there to read that I don't have time for other genres usually.
As to the Laney Cairo – I'm reading it right now in fact. I am having to google many things so I am learning much! So far I am enjoying the style. (It took me a while to pick that it was set in the UK – I mean, after a while it said it was in the UK so that's a clue (!) but I managed to pick it slightly before that. It's obviously not US, but I thought maybe it was set in Australia because you told me the author lives here.)
Back to what I'm learning – I didn't know about BJ's through condoms – never read that before I don't think – mmm, latex, yummy – not! Doesn't sound very sexy to me. (In my mind I just made them disappear!) and the gloves are welcome from a hygiene point of view but are they “teh sexy”? Hmm. Also, the, um, fist. Um, please god, why? And then there's the “was I bleeding?” and the response was “not much”. Ouch! Again, why??
So, apart from that my eyebrows are now living with my hairline and my eyeballs are bugging out, so far so good!
Sorry, Kaetrin! I should have told you that although she lives in Perth now this particular book is set in the UK. She has written others that are set in Oz – both in WA and over east.
Well, they ARE doctors so good practice is essential. 😉
LOL re: fisting. I think that is a lot of readers' initial response. Oh, and what did you think about the apadravya? I told you that I hoped you liked piercings, didn't I? *g*
Well, that's one of those things I had to look up. There's a picture on Wikipedia… which I wasn't quite expecting…!! Looks painful and it had me scratching my forehead a bit – Wiki said the piercing usually goes THROUGH the urethra and there is a comment in the book about it being challenging to urinate with the apadravya piercing. It, er, made me wonder about other, er, emissions and whether that was more difficult, more pleasurable or just nasty. It's an education, that's for sure!!
Do you know Sean Kennedy personally Kris? I read Tigers & Devils after a rec from Jessica at RRR and I loved it so much I even emailed him. I wanted to know who Declan ended up playing with too, so I had an ulterior motive. He did confirm that it would never be Collingwood (thank God!). Maybe Essendon though.
(My hubby is a bombers fan and I'm a crows girl with a bit of a soft spot for Carlton (before the crows, most of my local team seemed to go from Glenelg to Carlton when they moved from the SANFL to the AFL – but then the crows formed and for the first year or so, they were made up almost entirely of Glenelg players! So, hubby and I have our own teams plus our “teams by marriage”. But, this year the crows suck donkeys balls so bring on the cricket. As for Aker, didn't we always know he was a nob?)
Anyway, getting back to Sean Kennedy, that was the book I came “out” to my hubby about (about reading m/m romance that is!) and we've had some interesting discussions about what it would be like for a prominent AFL player to come out and how it would be at the Brownlow.
Kaetrin: This is one of those books that has it all. LOL.
Sean is my virtual baby brother, although we've not met in RL. *whispers* He lives on the north side of the river. We southerners don't go there unless we absolutely have to. They're weird up there.
“… we've had some interesting discussions about what it would be like for a prominent AFL player to come out and how it would be at the Brownlow…”
That was the interesting this about T&D, wasn't it. That you could picture so vividly what could actually happen at the games, amongst the fans, on the Footy Show, etc, etc should the situation ever occur. Now that the fuckhead Aker has bullied whoever those guys were back into the closet it's probably something we're not going to see for a while. Or maybe, just maybe this will make them more determined to be accepted for who they are, sexuality and all.
Im dying laughing and awwing at the same time! Best fan letter Ever. EVAH!!!!
you totally rock. now i think i want YOUR babies! 0_o LOL!
Claire: “now i think i want YOUR babies!”
Really?? Cos I'm pretty sure you're closer to Sir T than I am. Hmmm. Maybe we could work something out here…
Thanks love. 🙂
I don't know that the girls would be a problem for a gay AFL player but some of the boys watching might. I'd reckon the football world already knows who they are. My hubby was saying that statistically there must be at least 100 gay players and he just couldn't see how the team mates wouldn't know. I heard Ian Roberts the rugby player talking recently and he said when he came out it was to the general public – everyone he played with and the club people and the media already knew.
I finished Bad Case of Loving You last night. At its heart it was a sweet love story I thought. Yes, there was interesting bodywork and eyebrow-raising sexxoring, but it worked for me because I believed in the relationship between the two leads. I would have liked it to be longer though! (but then I almost always say that when I enjoy a book!). Next rec please. 🙂