dear minions

Dear Minions,

Henceforth all your gifts to me shall be presented in the following – and extremely appropriate – manner:

You can thank the highly insightful Juniper for this suggestion. You should feel honoured to have such a peer.

Oh, and needless to say, she will be winning this Month’s prestigious Minion Award.

Your Leader in Awesomesauceness,


About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
This entry was posted in dear minions, good reads, juniper. Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to dear minions

  1. Tam says:

    If only we could get you over your self-esteem issues you'd really be a force to be reckoned with. ;-\

  2. Val says:

    Okay, that made me laugh, and Tam's comment made me laugh some more! Comedy is so worthwhile. 🙂

  3. Chris says:

    What Val said!

  4. You'd think that as Queen of the Fucking Universe you would have some better looking wrapping paper. Orange? Eww.

  5. Jenre says:

    Is it possible to resign from minion status? I don't think I can keep up with the rest of the sycophants and so wish to retire gracefully from the field ;).

  6. Tam says:

    I believe it's similar to that hotel in California Jen,

    “You can checkout any time you like,
    But you can never leave!”

    You're screwed and not in a fun way.

  7. Chris says:

    And even if you never signed on to be a minion, it doesn't seem to matter…

  8. Jenre says:


    I feared that may be the case, Tam. Perhaps I shall have to content myself with staying near the back, biding my time so I can sneak out when the Queen of the Universe is distracted by her more obsequious minions.

  9. Juniper says:

    Hoe you cope with such disrespect, Kris, I just can't understand – you must truly have the patience of a saint!

  10. Lea says:

    Sorry Kris;

    Chaos is my evil demon master and I am therefore his minion.

    I'll have to ask Chris if I can send him his next offering wrapped in that um decorative paper..


  11. Going to print this out to show my co-worker proof she's actually NOT Queen of the Fucking Universe… #thankyoubabyjesus

  12. Eyre says:

    Sh..Folks, you're suppose to let her think she rules the universe. We need to keep her calm until the guys with the butterfly net and straight jacket arrive.

    *pets Kris*
    Good Kris . . . That's right, your majesty, swallow the happy pills . . .

  13. Chris says:

    Lea: You might be ok! Chaos likes to rip up wrapping paper.

  14. Jackie H says:

    @Juniper LOLOL

    But Kris….. I'm @DEMONBUNNEH's minion. Was the first day we brought the little furball home. Sorry.

  15. Lea says:

    *bows to my demon master Chaos*

  16. Kris says:

    *whistles happily while making notes on the naughty minions list*

  17. Kris says:

    Juni: “Hoe you cope with such disrespect, Kris, I just can't understand – you must truly have the patience of a saint!”

    That I do, especially when it comes to getting back at all the naughty minions.

  18. nichem says:

    Wait…what??? I thought I was Queen of the Universe!

  19. Kris says:

    Richelle: Oh, puhleeze. You are so delusional.

  20. *gasp* I need that wrapping paper!

  21. Kris says:

    KC: No! Iz mine!

  22. Cecile says:

    I could really throw you all in for a loop.. and say the words got left out… I am Fucking the Queen of the Universe… lmbo!!!!! Hey.. No one else went there!!!!!


    Kisses Kris on her pretty lips… Ahh sug.. it is okay… I luv u!

    OMG… my veri word: underoo….
    ROFLMAO!!!! BIG TIME!!!! Underooss to the rescue!!!

  23. Kris says:

    Cecile: I think Richelle might have beaten you to it… The two of you are a disappointment to me.

    Underoo? My blogger veri is showing me disrespect too.

  24. Sagi says:

    i think its funny that u r going to put that up *evil grin* it makes it all more funny and laughing is great 😛

  25. Tracy says:

    Hey! Where'd you find my wrapping paper? I knew I lost that somewhere!

  26. ElaineG says:

    I agree with Tam, you really need to work on the whole “I feel good about myself” thing……it's rather sad, you being so down on yourself. I think we need to have a Kris Day to boost your self-worth…yep, that's what we will do…lol!

  27. Sagi says:

    ElaineG – I totally agree with you we need a Kris Day asap!!

  28. Kris says:

    Sagi: Funny? My awesomeness is serious stuff, you know.

    Tracy: I think not.

    Elaine: *ponders* It is quite possible that a day honouring me would exponentially increase my awesomenesss… This needs further thought…

  29. Ingrid says:

    Juniper, welcome to the club!

    Kris, do you have connection to the Dutch throne now?

  30. Kris says:

    Ingrid: Sweet, that says Universe. It's the Dutch crown who has a connection to Me.

  31. Sagi says:

    LOL ur awesomeness is serious but u put up wrapping paper that says ur awesome thats just funny 😉

  32. Kris says:

    Sagi: Not me! Juni found that wrapping paper where she lives in England. 🙂

  33. orannia says:

    If only we could get you over your self-esteem issues you'd really be a force to be reckoned with. ;-\



    Good suggestions Juniper! *scribble note to self in large letters*

  34. Kris says:


  35. Juniper says:

    Wasn't going to but pride forces me to say – SCOTLAND not England!

  36. Kris says:

    Eep! 1000 apologies, dearest Juniper. Boo to the sassanech!

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