maybe it’s me, but…

It’s not only the copious amounts of sex scenes in romance and erotica which have me skipping pages at the moment, but also the dreaded, seemingly endless fuck.

This is me…

‘Yay!  They’re finally smexing!’

Later…

*roll eyes*  ‘Oh, ferchrissake, would you cum already!’

Later still…

‘Well, obviously you weren’t that close, you bullshiter.’

And in the next moment…

‘NO!  Dear God people, have you not heard of chaffing?!’

Yeah.

Colour me totally convinced.

Not.

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About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
This entry was posted in maybe it's me but, reading, romance, sexsexsexsexsexsex. Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to maybe it’s me, but…

  1. Chris says:

    LOL! I'm now extremely curious what you've been reading (besides Cameron Dane)… 😉

  2. Tam says:

    Well, if you watch porn you know they can go on and on and on and on and that's like, real life and stuff. 🙂

    I haven't really noticed the length thing, maybe I've been reading stuf with fast shooters lately. 🙂 Of course now every book I read I'll be wondering if they are going too long. LOL

  3. Jenre says:

    Sometimes, when it goes on for pages and pages it twinges my scepticism button. Men just do not go on forever. Mind you, romance is a form of fantasy and it's every man/woman's fantasy to have a lover who can go like a train for hours without chafing, lol!

  4. I'm with you on that… especially if the sex is just randomly dispersed throughout the story and have no relevance to the plot.

  5. Tracy says:

    I get the same way sometimes. I find myself saying: Are you not done yet? lol

  6. It's all the fluffer's fault. They are lurking off page, ready to keep the guys up for the challenge. *snicker, groan worthy pun intended.*

  7. Nothing like a man who can come in five minutes… at least it never gets boring XD

  8. 'Oh, ferchrissake, would you cum already!'

    Can't.
    Stop.
    Laughing.

  9. Kris says:

    Chris: Not a lot so you could probably look at my goodreads shelves and take a guess. 😉

    Tam: *gasp* Are comparing porn to erotica?? And in m/m?! zOMG! You're so going to hell.

    “I haven't really noticed the length thing, maybe I've been reading stuf with fast shooters lately. :-)”

    Or maybe just short stories so authors tend to – hopefully – keep the encounters brief.

    Get it??

    I kill me.

    Jen: “Mind you, romance is a form of fantasy and it's every man/woman's fantasy to have a lover who can go like a train for hours without chafing, lol!”

    It is?? Well, how come no one told me this? Now I will stop wincing whenever a scene goes on and on and I think about the possibility of dick burn. Good to know. 😛

  10. Kris says:

    Miranda: Yes, the 'oh, bloody hell, they're fucking again?!' approach to sex scenes. It makes your eyes roll so hard that they end up like those poker machine things.

    Tracy: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? LOL.

    Stephani: *snort* But what about the author, I wonder…

  11. Kris says:

    Josephine: LOL. I guess the only possibility of boredom would be the fact that he does cum every 5 minutes. Also, let's hope that he's a bottom otherwise could you imagine how long the scene would be if he was a top?? Gawd.

    FV: “Can't. Stop. Laughing.”

    *taps foot* Are you done yet? Hurry up already! ;P

  12. Tam says:

    No, I was comparing porn to real life because we all know porn is completely realistic and true with no editing or fancy camera work. That's a myth created by those trying to discredit true love on celluloid.

    Oh and yeah, good one. Heh.

  13. Kris says:

    Tam: “That's a myth created by those trying to discredit true love on celluloid.”

    Haters are gonna hate.

    “Oh and yeah, good one. Heh.”

    *blushes* I know.

  14. Mariana says:

    It's not just you…

  15. K. Z. Snow says:

    😀 Feeling your pain.

    In books like that, I'd really, really like to see a scene like this:

    “Rock, I shit you not, I'm genuinely tired.”

    “Yeah, yeah. This morning it was a headache.”

    “I honestly had a headache.” Scissors flipped over and muttered into his pillow, “Two of 'em.”

    Rock was persistent. He slithered toward Scissors, the sticky sheets clinging to the hair on his calves and even pulling several out of their follicles.

    Sighing, Scissors asked Rock to turn on the nightstand lamp. “I'll tell you what, bucko, get me a beer and a bag of pretzels, hand me that paperback, my glasses, the pack of Marlboros, a lighter, an ashtray, and the remote. Then I'll be ready.”

  16. Kris says:

    Mariana: For once. 😉

    KZ: Maybe it would be better for Rock and Scissors if they found Paper? Most of the time I wonder if m/m/m arose *HA!* because one of the m's in m/m got sick and tired of being fucked all the time.

  17. K. Z. Snow says:

    Yeah, I thought about adding Paper but didn't want to hijack the whole post. 😉

    BTW, have you read Bareback yet? (I'm instigating now. *g*)

  18. Kris says:

    You didn't want to hijack the thread, KZ?? Are you sick? 😛

    I read Bareback zonks ago. Why?

  19. orannia says:

    LOL! I read a sex scene is Lover Unleashed earlier this week and just wanted it to be over. Then then next one I read (same books)had me laughing hysterically. I got some really weird looks for that.

    BTW – great tattoos! I adore Firefly/Serenity.

  20. Lori says:

    Yes. Finish up already! Plus I really hate when after a session like that, they can just get it up again 5 minutes later. Little recovery time would work there.

  21. Kris says:

    Orannia: I'm not sure laughing hysterically at a sex scene is quite the response an author usually looks for. lol.

    I <3 firefly too.

    Lori: “Plus I really hate when after a session like that, they can just get it up again 5 minutes later.”

    Ditto. That's when I definitely start flicking pages.

  22. Kaetrin says:

    “dick burn”? Obviously my education is sadly lacking.

  23. Kris says:

    Kaetrin: It's like carpet burn. But not.

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