Given the fact that I will be joining all the other awesome peeps in Heaven on Saturday, I thought I’d take the opportunity to get my confession out of the way before the mad rush.
1. I don’t really like any of you. I’m just pretty good at faking it.
2. I also hate m/m romance and erotica. I’ve only been reading this crap to be part of the latest bandwagon. I’m all about fads.
3. In fact, the romance genre as a whole sucks. It’s all a bunch of rainbowy butterfly farting drivel created for hard-up spinsters and lonely wives who should just bite the bullet and buy themselves a bloody dildo already.
4. All of you who think ebooks are ‘real’ books are just fucking weird. Also, they will never catch on. Plus, they wouldn’t nearly be as useful in a zombie apocalypse as print books. These are important things that should be considered. Indeed, I was planning a campaign to get a warning label put on ebooks which said ‘CAN’T BE USED IN AN APOCALYPSE. TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT PRINT, DUMBARSE’. I guess I have to ditch that now. Bummer.
5. My name is Kris, but I’m not really a girl. The person who went to America last year was actually some random freckly chick who I gave a plane ticket to in return for her pretending to be me. So if you hated her guts that’s totally cool. I’m actually a het guy studying the phenomena of online personas and their relationship with schizophrenic wanktardiness and someone suggested I focus on the online reading community. Needless to say that it has provided some pretty awesome case studies. I also thought it would help me make friends. Har. Har. Not really. See Number 1.
Hope you all have a great couple of last days.
Kris of Kris ‘n’ Good Books.
PS – If I’m still here on Sunday, let’s just forget this ever happened.