I’m going to make the assumption that most of you who read my blog are also aware, to varying degrees, of what has happened in the last few days subsequent to my last post. If not, and you are interested, I suggest you go back and read some of the links provided in the comments because, quite frankly, I can’t be arsed rehashing what has happened.
I did debate whether or not to write a follow-up post; however, I have no desire to ignore the current situation and I think there will be more benefit to an open, honest discussion as opposed to, well, vitriolic bullshit.
Having said that, I also struggled with how best to approach this post. Do I attempt to prepare something thought-provoking? No, I won’t. I think others far more eloquent than I have already done this. Do I provide my usual sarcastic and facetious take on things? No, I won’t. I think to do so would be glib and dismissive.
Do I try to address the comments and accusations people have made about me? No, I won’t. I think it would just further inflame the situation and degenerate into further nastiness… let’s face it, probably by me. Do I justify my previous post? No, I won’t. As I think that would just be buying into the reactionary culture of victimisation.
Well. What to do then?
It was my answer to the question above, of trying to justify myself, which made me realise what I had to do above all else. This was, whether I liked it or not, to take responsibility for my actions.
You see, it was me and only me, who wrote the post which was the catalyst for the controversy currently dominating the m/m romance community.
Do I regret publishing it?
No… and yes.
No, because I still firmly believe that raising and questioning the appropriation of a GLBTQ identity as well as incidents of offline bullying, which was at the heart of my post, was – for wont of a better term – the ‘right’ thing to do.
But also yes. Yes, because there have been several real victims of this incredibly intense and unfortunately sometimes aggressive and confrontational situation, and that is something I do regret.
In particular, there are two communities that I, inadvertently or not, have offended or caused turmoil in. One being the GLBTQ communities for ignorantly perpetuating an over-simplistic or binary view of gender/s and sexuality/ies (as a Twitter mate very generously explained, although they may be wincing right now at my description); and, the second being the m/m community itself.
In relation to the latter, although there have been times when I’ve been completely disillusioned, I’ve also been interested and encouraged by how many people within the m/m community have engaged in this debate and some of the thought-provoking comments made.
Unlike others, I don’t think such contention necessarily results in division. Rather, I believe open and constructive conversations can lead to increased understanding and much stronger connections… and who knew I could be a half-glass full person?
So. Maybe I did know what to do with this post, after all.
Finally, I want to reiterate that I alone am responsible for my actions.
If you wish to place the blame on someone then it’s obvious…
Clearly, you should blame my parents.
For not only instilling in me a commitment to always stand up for what I believe in, but the knowledge, as I’ve said before and will likely say again, that you don’t shit where you eat.
Those who dared:
ouaqquwcgk on my confession dkmhwgijnw on random awesomeness Kris on maybe it’s me, but… kaetrin on maybe it’s me, but… Kris on maybe it’s me, but…