maybe it’s me, but…

Do you ever wake up in the morning and think to yourself…

“Fuck this shit.  I demand a refund!”

Immediately followed by…

“And, goddammit, I’m 36! When is my bloody telekinesis going to kick in?!”

Thought so.

About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
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23 Responses to maybe it’s me, but…

  1. LOL, that picture made me jump.

    I thought telekenesis usually shows up at puberty? Maybe you're a late bloomer 🙂

  2. KB/KT Grant says:

    Every morning I wonder why I haven't woken up next to Ryan Reynolds and only my pillow. *pout*

  3. Lilli says:

    Almost every frickin' day these past few months… o_O

    …but this made me laugh. 🙂

  4. Eyre says:

    Really, I get that feeling every day Monday through Friday.


  5. Val says:

    OMG, what a cute little amphibian in that photo! Not the place you really want to find him, though. 🙂

  6. Chris says:

    Like Eyre said – Monday through Friday…

  7. Kris says:

    Patti: Are you implying that I'm old?! Hmpf!

    KBC: Yeah, but if you had telekinesis you could just zap RR to your bed. Just sayin'.

    Lilli: We must have a psychic connection. This means that there's hope for our ESP skillz.

    Eyre & Chris: Work – It is a 4-letter word. Blech.

    Val: I just hope that coffee wasn't hot when he got in there…

  8. Angelia says:

    Patti, you are very right. And telekinesis SOUNDS like fun, but it's six kinds of hell. It's generally uncontrollable, linked to hormonal changes in the brain and makes a mess of things.

    We went through a round of it with my oldest. Just hoping the youngest doesn't inherit it as well.

  9. Kris says:

    Angelia: Really?? Bummer. Maybe I'll just stick to wanting to be abducted for a secret government experiment and waking up with 'go, go, gadget' hands then.

  10. Mariana says:

    I would settle for Hermione's bag (from Harry Potter). I could carry everything I ever needed, in a small clutch 🙂 That and wings… my hip is for shit 😦 Flying would definitely help avoid the morning commute 🙂

  11. Kris says:

    Mariana: Wings means hand tailored clothes which would be pretty expensive. How about teleportation??

  12. K. Z. Snow says:

    I keep wondering when the damned aliens are going to release me. I mean, I'm all for scientific research, but they're lousy decorators … and can't brew a decent beer to save their gray little hides.

  13. Juni says:

    You're channelling too much energy into chair-location.

  14. Kris says:

    KZ: But they obviously let you access the internet. That's a pretty good deal.

    Juni: “You're channelling too much energy into chair-location.”


    Blasphemer! THERE. IS. NO. SUCH. THING.

    We're through.

  15. Tam says:

    Refunds definitely. I'm looking more for teleportation as a skill. Maybe KZ's over-lords can help me out with that one.

  16. Mariana says:

    Kris!!! Even better… although if there's a glitch during the transition and then I'm a spliced up sub-human?! Things to weigh in the pros and cons 😀

  17. ElaineG says:

    Every. Day.
    And twice on Sundays…cause I actually CAN go back to sleep on Sundays 😉

  18. Kris says:

    Tam: Don't be silly.

    It's not the aliens that give you psychic skills.

    Mariana: Not the Star Trek kind, hun. The flash kind. You'll be safe. 🙂

    Elaine: LOL. And the third you say after the second time you wake up on Sunday is 'fuck, i was dreaming'?? 😉

  19. Tracy says:

    Good luck with that telekinesis baby, I'm 45 and I'm STILL waiting for it. Maybe when we're 80?

  20. Angelia says:

    Wings just mean you wear a lot of halter tops.

  21. Kris says:

    Tracy: I'd better bloody have it by then cos I'll need it that's for damned sure.

    Angelia: Not for my chubby self it wouldn't.

  22. orannia says:

    “And, goddammit, I'm 36! When is my bloody telekinesis going to kick in?!”

    Well, I have to add a couple of years *grin* but..yes. Although it's teleportation I want 🙂

  23. Kris says:

    Orannia: Are you calling me old?? 😦

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