random funny: the epilogue



For those of you who missed it, yesterday’s post degenerated into various ribald comments made primarily by Jase and Wren associated with my theory that vampire sperm, if made all cartoony facey, would have little fangs on them.

This resulted in Eyre using her Powers of Google Fu – oh, yes, she did! – to discover this:


I, naturally – really, how could I not -, shared this on Twitter, which in turn led to a discussion about what vampire eggs would look like so I lent my amazing artistic powers to the cause:


Jackie = @j_hussein

All in all, quite a productive day.
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About Kris

Reads, rants, randoms & R+s. You've been warned. BTW, don't follow me if you're a GLBTQQphobic wanker. It won't end well. For you.
This entry was posted in extra further randomness, eyre, jackie, probably tmi, vampires. Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to random funny: the epilogue

  1. You are so disturbing, and I love you for it.

    Sperm with teeth would make for a great horror movie since they already have one with a va jay jay with teeth called Teeth.

  2. I'm shuddering at the sperm with fangs – I think my womb just cried ouchie.

  3. Jenre says:

    Wow, we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight, thanks to you Kris.

    I bow down to the collective awesomeness of you and the followers of this blog :).

  4. nichem says:

    Wow, you do have amazing artistic powers! Forget PL Nunn– YOU could do the graphic m/m novel for us. 😀

    So…what keeps the poor little sperms from getting scared and swimming away from that frightening egg?

  5. Chris says:

    Mmmm… Eric…

  6. Chris… I believe you have hypnotized me. I too can not stop thinking of Eric.

  7. Awesome artwork, Kris. Now the sperm and the egg can bite each other!

  8. Tracy says:

    lol Nice graphics. You all are going far!

  9. Jason says:

    mmm….bacon….

  10. Jason says:

    You so understand my thought process, Zephyr. 😀

  11. Tam says:

    You all have too much time on your hands. Don't you have a REAL job or somethin'? Something that requires you to sit in a room with 11 other people and hash out results based management issues trying to accomodate 8 different provinces and departments? Something FUN like that. And then that you have to go to fucking dinner with the same 11 people and spend even MORE time with them. No? Well, you should. Because I shouldn't have to suffer alone.

    Whew. I feel better now. I think that sperm is cute.

  12. Kris says:

    Katiebabs chook: “You are so disturbing, and I love you for it.”

    Thank you.

    KC: Your womb is totally safe since you're already up the duff anyways. 😛

    Jen: You realised that you just called yourself awesome, right. Or did you think that we would actually miss that one?

    Richelle: “Wow, you do have amazing artistic powers!”

    *blushes* I know.

    “So…what keeps the poor little sperms from getting scared and swimming away from that frightening egg?”

    The prime directive and by the time the realise it's a vamp egg it's too late.

  13. Eyre says:

    Kris, I'm so glad that there are others like me in the world. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person who would ever thinking about vampire sperm.

    BTW, when I checked those tweets over breakfast this morning, I almost choked on my breakfast pita! LMAO!

    Jase, that bacon comment is disturbingly apt.

  14. Kris says:

    Chris = broken record.

    Miranda: It worried me that you understood Jase.

    Wren: Brings a whole different meaning to the phrase 'Bite Me!' *snort*

    Tracy: We're a talented bunch. :p

  15. Kris says:

    Jase: I didn't think it was possible, but I do believe that you may be even more disturbing than I am.

    Who knew. ;p

    Tam: *blink, blink* And you think that the Edward Cullen sperm is cute?? Apparently training has made you loose your mind. Just sayin'.

    Eyre: “It's nice to know that I'm not the only person who would ever thinking about vampire sperm.”

    I think this entire discussion indicates that there are definitely more than we two who think about these kind of things.

  16. K. Z. Snow says:

    I need a break, so here I am. (Actually, I need the kind of break a bona fide sugar daddy could give me, like a week or two on a cruise ship, but since I don't have a sugar daddy…)

    Y'know, I'm really curious about shifter sperm. There seems to be a plethora of shifters out there these days–just about every species imaginable, from ducks to prairie dogs to seahorses–and their wigglies can't possibly all look the same.

    (I don't know why, but I keep imagining something like Vincent Price in The Fly.)

  17. Kris says:

    KZ: Their 'wigglies' would depend on what their other form is, but they too would shift. For eg, swim, sperm, swim, shifter shape, swim, sperm, swim, shifter shape, etc, etc. That is how that are able to sneak up on ready to hatch eggs. They fake them out.

    True story.

  18. And may the two live happily ever after…

    E.H>

  19. Kris says:

    EH: “And may the two live happily ever after…”

    But hopefully not if they're associated with teenage sex that is likely to result in a skeery fetus trying to rip their way out of the womb.

  20. K. Z. Snow says:

    Oh, okay. I get it. The sperm would shift too.

    I'd really like to see that under a microscope. Can you manage a few pics?

  21. Or, if pics are unavailable (HIPPA laws, privacy rights, etc.) how about an illustrated version?

  22. K. Z. Snow says:

    Wren, there are no such things as Hippo Laws. Hippos are notorious anarchists. However, there are hippo shifters.

    Word veri: “untart.” It's the process Kris is desperately in need of.

  23. Kris says:

    KZ: “Word veri: “untart.” It's the process Kris is desperately in need of.”

    *clutches pearls* How rude!

  24. Srsly? Hippo shifters?

    Kris, are those the kind of pearls that appear in the Ugly Cover winner at wave's?

  25. Kris says:

    Wren: Well, I do like to keep them close at hand just in case…

  26. K. Z. Snow says:

    Kris, are those the kind of pearls that appear in the Ugly Cover winner at wave's?

    Hm. That would explain why Kris clutches them. It's the only way to access those babies — grab and yank. Heh-heh.

  27. Jason says:

    I have to say, that cover gave me ideas that I put into a wonderful reality this past weekend. 😀

  28. Chris says:

    It's really a shame Jase wasn't here when you did your Fetishes series, Kris. 🙂

  29. Jason says:

    Kris could do them again!

  30. Kris says:

    KZ: “It's the only way to access those babies — grab and yank. Heh-heh.”

    *orifice clench*

    Chris: After hearing about his book cover inspiration, somehow I don't think Jase needs any help from me when it comes to his sex life. Just sayin'.

  31. Chris says:

    No, I think he'd be interested in it for our edification. He's very noble that way.

  32. Kris says:

    So Jase would be doing it for us. Wow, so generous.

  33. Jason says:

    well, it is in my nature. 😀

  34. Kris says:

    You're a fucking humanitarian, Jase.

    In this case, literally. 😛

  35. orannia says:

    You are so disturbing, and I love you for it.

    What Katie said! *grin*

  36. Kris says:

    Orannia: Thanks?? 😉

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