encounters with my baby brother: 14

Posted on 24/05/2011 by Kris



A little while ago the Baby Brother had a bad back so when he rang early one morning I offered to go and do a grocery shop for him.


The BB: Nah.  I went yesterday.


Me:  Well, I guess it was good that you got out of the house, but I can get you more stuff if you want.


The BB: Nah. I have enough food for a few days.


Me:  Why don’t you just do a big shop?  You know, so you would be okay for more than a few days.


The BB: Then I would have to take a trolley instead of one of the handbasket things.


Me:  So?


The BB:  I don’t trust myself with a trolley cos it is too tempting to mow those other fuckers in the store down.


Me:  This is true.


We are so much alike.


Poor him.

Posted in encounters, me, my brother | 11 Comments

dear publisher

Posted on 22/05/2011 by Kris

Dear Douche 


You know I bloody well hate it when you change the design of a book cover mid series, but to do it a third time?!





What the fuck is the matter with you?!


Does no one in there understand the value of consistent branding?  Never mind the phrase ‘Beware A Pissed Off Reader With A Machete’??


Geezus.


You suck big, fat, hairy donkey ballz with jock-itch.


Insincerely, me.

Posted in book covers, dear publisher, suckage, WTF | 13 Comments

pre-rapture confession

Posted on 20/05/2011 by Kris

Dear all


Given the fact that I will be joining all the other awesome peeps in Heaven on Saturday, I thought I’d take the opportunity to get my confession out of the way before the mad rush.


You’re welcome.


1. I don’t really like any of you.  I’m just pretty good at faking it.


2. I also hate m/m romance and erotica. I’ve only been reading this crap to be part of the latest bandwagon.  I’m all about fads.


3. In fact, the romance genre as a whole sucks.  It’s all a bunch of rainbowy butterfly farting drivel created for hard-up spinsters and lonely wives who should just bite the bullet and buy themselves a bloody dildo already.


4. All of you who think ebooks are ‘real’ books are just fucking weird.  Also, they will never catch on.  Plus, they wouldn’t nearly be as useful in a zombie apocalypse as print books. These are important things that should be considered. Indeed, I was planning a campaign to get a warning label put on ebooks which said ‘CAN’T BE USED IN AN APOCALYPSE. TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT PRINT, DUMBARSE’.  I guess I have to ditch that now.  Bummer.


5. My name is Kris, but I’m not really a girl.  The person who went to America last year was actually some random freckly chick who I gave a plane ticket to in return for her pretending to be me.  So if you hated her guts that’s totally cool.  I’m actually a het guy studying the phenomena of online personas and their relationship with schizophrenic wanktardiness and someone suggested I focus on the online reading community.  Needless to say that it has provided some pretty awesome case studies.  I also thought it would help me make friends.  Har.  Har.  Not really.  See Number 1.


6. 



Hope you all have a great couple of last days.


Not.


Yours sincerely,


Kris of Kris ‘n’ Good Books.


PS – If I’m still here on Sunday, let’s just forget this ever happened.

Posted in extra further randomness, me | 36 Comments

owning words

Posted on 17/05/2011 by Kris

Do I have your attention?


Good, cos this is probably a post best to be avoided given the self-indulgent rambling which follows.


You’ve been warned.


Once upon a time, two girls with ‘ris’ in their names had a discussion about a book. The freckled, chubby one tried – unsuccessfully – to explain to her tall, gluten-free mate why the frequent use of the word ‘slut’ made her extremely uncomfortable.  ‘Yes,’ said the occasionally-wiser-but-only-cos-she’s-old-er ‘ris’, ‘though don’t you think because it was the character in question calling himself a slut that he actually took ownership of the word?’  The pig-tailed one pondered this and acknowledged – reluctantly and would always deny it forevermore – her soul-friend-in-black was right.  The end.


Or was it??


What made me remember this chat with Chris about Heidi Cullinan’s Special Delivery was a recent conversation I had with someone which left me feeling very upset and hurt.


I talked about it with the Mumma, who hit the nail on the head when she said the other person had bought into and was reinforcing the stigma; the stigma associated with depression, that is.


Mumma’s insight made me think again about words and how hurtful they can be. 


Yet, at the same time, words can be extraordinarily positive and lead to empowerment.  Especially when you take back words that have had or still have negative connotations and make them your own.


Like ‘slut’.


Like ‘cunt’.  


Like ‘gay’.  


Or like ‘mental illness’. 


So, as much as I hate my depression at times and as much as I go through phases of wishing I could be different, I am not ashamed of the fact that I have a mental illness.


My name is Kris and I have depression mixed with a strong splash of OCD and a hint of ADD and anxiety.


And, if you don’t like it, well, you can go and fuck yourself.


I absolutely refuse to be ashamed of who I am.
Posted in chris, heidi cullinan, me, words | 27 Comments

books that sucker you in: super star finds twu wuv

Posted on 15/05/2011 by Kris



Reading the above story reminded me how much I like romances involving a closeted – for whatever reason – celebrity finding twu wuv with an ordinary guy.


Others I’ve really enjoyed include K A Steele’s To The Highest Bidder and T C Blue’s Conventions series.


Are they realistic??  


Probably not.


But, fuck it, who doesn’t like a fairy tale happy ending!


This is romance, after all.  🙂

Posted in books that sucker you in, characters, randomness | 18 Comments

ratings and… THE FUCK?!

Posted on 14/05/2011 by Kris



So I started reading Katiebabs chook’s post about the latest wankfestry going on all the while thinking ‘yeah, yeah, same old crap’ when suddenly…


O.o


WHAT.  


THE.  


FUCK.


Some peepo are turning into abusive arseholes on goodreads because they bought a book based on a review and then ended up not liking like it??


What are they lemmings and can’t think for themselves?  


Or maybe the reviewer is part of some super seekrit publisher’s plot trialling auto-suggestive book pimpage?


Which is obviously a failure cos it only seems to work on wankity fucktards. 


Geezus kerrist.  What a bunch of total bullshit.


No one held a bloody gun to your head, dickhead, so take some responsibility for your own actions and stop behaving like a douche.


/rant

Posted in good reads, katiebabs chook, pet peeve/fave rant, ratings, reviews, reviews-not mine, wankfestery | 22 Comments

ratings and what i’d like to see

Posted on 10/05/2011 by Kris



I think a book review blog along the lines of Wayne’s World would be full of win.


Also, the scha-wing?? 


Totally perfect for the rating of Teh Smut.

Posted in ratings, reviews, reviews-not mine | 20 Comments

one of my fave book stores

Posted on 08/05/2011 by Kris



So on Saturday after lunch with the Mumma and the Stepmumma and the double-whammy guilt trip about looking after myself, the Mumma and I went to my tame book store to pick up the gazillion books she had ordered.


I love this place and the three girls who work there.  I seriously do.


There is nothing like walking into a bookstore and feeling at home, right?


Now imagine if that place had bookshelves filled with romance, which was all categorised correctly, and where the staff knew what they were talking about AND were more than happy to chat about recent reads and give recommendations.


It’s heaven.  *dreamy sigh*


Anyways, the Mumma walked out with her two bags of books.  *I know.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in this family.  Obviously*  I left with the whole two books I’d wanted.  *Willpower.  I haz it.  Occasionally.*


AND the two m/m romances one of the girls had picked up for me at RT in LA.


AND a personalised autograph from Rachel Caine who was recently here.


How cool is that!  


How cool are they!


Told you I love ’em.  *GRIN*


Seriously though, if you are in Oz, you can’t look past Temptation: The Romance Bookstore.  They are Teh Awesomesauce.


Oh, and they ship overseas.


You’re welcome.


*hehehe*

Posted in awesomeness, book stores, me, my tame book store, teh pimpage | 15 Comments

random awesomeness

Posted on 06/05/2011 by Kris



Something we all need to remember.  


Especially in the down times.

Posted in awesomeness, extra further randomness | 10 Comments

break time… again…

Posted on 03/05/2011 by Kris
Posted in me | 9 Comments